IRC-Galleria

Shit. Shit. Shit.

OK, today I probably have used more swear words than I usually do in two weeks. Everything sucks. I do, most of all. I was supposed to do some work, but I'm totally useless today. I'll have to do it tomorrow, I suppose. Or at least something.

As a paradox, listening to records of last night's TAP gig is getting me in better mood.. Weird.. Well, hopefully tomorrow's going to be better..

"And lunatics are telling you you've lost your mind.."

Hehe, how f*cking true. How FUCKING true!!

If an ex said he hates you, you say?: Who knows. Lots of people hate me, but no-one has ever said it.

Would you curse in front of your parents?: Yeah

What is your current annoyance?: Babysitting

Do you take daily vitamins or medications?: I don't, but I feel like lacking B..

What was the last item you bought?: Automatic Eye CD.. Even signed.. :D

What country has the best food?: Czech republic!

Are you afraid of roller coasters?: No way :-)

If your best friend told you they were moving, you?: Say I'll miss them

Would you rather go to a party or out of town?: Party party

Do you think you're dumb?: Shit happens..

At what age do you want to be married?: Who knows..

Where is your mom right now?: At home, I suppose..

What are you supposed to be doing right now?: Exactly what I am doing- having a break.

What is your 5 year plan?: Damn, I don't have a plan for next week :D

How is life going for you right now?: A rollercoaster ride..

When was the last time you held someoneÂ’s hand?: Today.

Who can you tell everything to?: There's no-one like that.

What is the next concert you're going to?: White Flame at Klubi and hopefully Pelikorok in Mänttä.

What do you currently hear right now?: Automatic Eye - Greenwalley '99

How old do you think you will be when you finally have kids?: No idea.

Missing someone right now?: Well.. Yes, but there's no point of missing him..

Is there someone on your mind that shouldn't be?: Yeah..

Do you speak another language other than English?: Czech, French, some Finnish, some German. Maybe I would even manage some Slovak.. :D

Plans for today?: Language course and then preparing an interview..

Who do you love more than anything?: My Mum

Are you where you thought you would be at this point in your life?: Never thought I would be here..

Woohoo, this is perfect madness! *loooool* No, I really can't do anything else than laugh about that.. Can one really fall in love every weekend?? *lol*

Anyway, keikkakalenteri 2009:
29.3. Jam at Ama
2.4. White Flame - Klubi
4.4. Automatic Eye & Nitrokiss - Pelikorok/Mänttä
8.4. TAP - Ama
10.4. Day Eleven - Kustaa
11.4. Renoise - Dog's Home
16.4. VIP - Ama (OR TAP at Vastavirtaklubi)
22.4. Renoise - Ama
24.4. PMMP - Apollo
28.4. MANZANA/FOR SELENA AND SIN/UNSHINE/1ST CHOICE - PRAHA
1.5. Entwine - Iisoppi/Nokia
2.5. Manzana - Sputnik
5.5. Automatic Eye - On The Rocks/Hki
10.5. White Flame - Klubi

..and after that some more that I haven't put down in my calendar..

OK, now I got a bit paranoid about next Saturday, because I found a note stating "babysitting" in my calendar. But it seems that there's nothing, so HOPEFULLY I'll be able to go to Pelikorok.

Screw that. I don't know. I don't know anything. Nothing at all. Blank. I need to know. At least the first name. Or something to catch onto. I need to find him.
--
"Well you're famous- so what? Does it make you superhuman?"

I'm soooooo tired. But I won't go to sleep for another several hours, I can tell for sure. I never do.
And a really busy weekend ahead- White Flame tomorrow, Renoise on Friday, White Flame again on Saturday and Private Line on Sunday. But well, I'm not 100% sure about Sunday yet, but I'd like to see PL. Well, we'll see on Sunday morning. But yeah, I guess I'll leave that one out. Tree gigs during one weekend is quite enough..

I think I'll go to sleep anyway. Until mum rings and wakes me up. Last workday tomorrow and then weekend. No rest, but it's my own choice..

If someone wants to make me happy: http://www.bullhead.fi/store/fin/cat/product_details.php?p=37
:D

"Spend as much time with him as you can. He's your strength, he's your guardian angel."

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pbckgdxlBm4

This song has been following me like a ghost. I heard it last night at a bar and not knowing whose song it was and not capturing a single word of it, I would probably have forgotten about it, if I hadn't found out that Lovex had covered it (I even was at that gig, but this song doesn't belong among the three moments that I remember from the show). I've searched for it at Youtube and have to listen to it all afternoon and it won't go out of my head.
What is even more weird, it reminds me of the dream I had last night, no idea why. I might have heard the song in it, who knows. But the feeling that the song calls out feels so good that I'm feeling even guitly for that (yes, from the stylistical point of view this sentence sucks, I know..). But I just can't help it. As if I was drug-addicted. (yes- I know nothing about being drug-addicted, but this is something I've never felt before and I just don't know where to put it)
I keep calling the dream weird, but in fact it was more than pleasant. Another thing I'm feeling kind of guilty for, even though there's no sane reason for that (I'm talking as if all of my reasons for everything ever weren't insane). It felt more than good, but the person that made everything feel good was not the one who should be there, or to be more precise not the one who I'd like to be there. My mind is screaming out something I'm still trying to deny.
I'll have to admit that, sooner or later, but I don't want to admit that yet. Not before things get clear enough. I know my mind is the one who knows what's the best for me, but stubborn as I am, I won't listen to her. I don't want to let her win over now, I want things to go my way, even though I feel it won't make me happy. Honestly, I don't know what to do. I guess all I can do is to wait and watch. I don't want to let go yet. It will come, but I think there's time for it. Nothing for now. Just watch.

Stolen from somewhere here around..

Honestly, are you in love right now? - Hard to say. "Yes" would be a lie and "no" would be a lie as well.
Honestly, what's on your mind right now? - The gig of Manzana, Selena and Unshine in Prague.
Honestly, what are you doing right now? - Writing this and listening to music.
Honestly, what did you do today? - Worked.
Honestly, do you think you are attractive? - Narcist as I am- of course.
Honestly, have you done something bad today? - Yeah.
Honestly, do you watch Disney channel? - Honestly, I had no idea that such a channel exists..
Honestly, are you jealous of someone right now? - If I was supposed to be jealous, there's not one person- there's more of them. So is there really any point of being jealous?
Honestly, what makes you happy most of the time? - Wish there was something like that..
Honestly, do you bite your nails? - From time to time..
Honestly, what is your mood right now? - Tired.
Honestly, who do you want to see at this very moment? - Mum.
Honestly, do you have a deep dark secret? - Not a deep dark one.
Honestly, do you hate someone right now? - "Hate is energy and that has to be deserved." No, there's no-one who'd deserve my energy of this kind.
Honestly, who/what do you want to hug right now? - Mum.
Honestly, do your wrists hurt? - No..?
Honestly, wouldn't you rather be having sex right now? - Well why not..
Honestly, does anyone like you? - I think so.
Honestly, is it going anywhere with them? - I don't wanna know.
Honestly, did you answer all these questions honestly? Yes.