IRC-Galleria

Miksi miehen peniksessä on reikä?
-Täytyyhän aivojenkin saada happea.

Miksi miehet eivät kokkaa?
-Siksi, ettei vielä ole keksitty pihviä, jonka voisi valmistaa leivänpaahtimessa.

Miksi miehet kuluttavat niin paljon kaloreita naidessaan?
-Koska panon jälkeen he juoksevat ympäri kaupunkia kehumassa siitä kavereilleen.

Miksi miehet kuorsaavat selällään nukkuessaan?
-Kivekset tukkivat alapään ilmanottoaukon.

Miksi miehet masturboivat?
-Saa harrastaa seksiä rakkaimpansa kanssa.

Miksi miehet nousevat keskellä yötä sängystä?
-25 % mennäkseen jääkaapille, 25 % mennäkseen vessaan ja 50 % mennäkseen kotiin.

Miksi miehet pitävät kalastuksesta?
- Koska silloin heillä on mahdollisuus kerran elämässään kuulla naisen suusta sanat: vau miten iso!

Miksi miehillä on isommat aivot kuin koirilla?
-Jotteivat ne koko ajan nylkyttäisi naisten sääriä cocktailkutsuilla.

Miksi mies luotiin ennen naista?
-Tarvitaan yksi raakavedos ennen lopullista versiota.

Miksi mies muuttuu älykkäämmäksi rakastelun ajaksi?
- Se on kytkettynä neroon.

Miksi mies nukahtaa heti seksin jälkeen?
-Että nainen voi runkata rauhassa homman loppuun.

Miksi miesten tieteelle lahjoittamia aivoja pidetään parempina kuin naisten?
-Koska miesten aivoja ei ole koskaan käytetty.

Miksi nainen ei räpäytä silmiään esileikin aikana?
-Hän ei ehdi.

Miksi tarvitaan miljoona siittiötä yhden munasolun hedelmöittämiseen?
-Miesten tapaan siittiötkään eivät pysähdy kysymään ajo-ohjeita.

Mikä on miehen esileikki?
-Puoli tuntia vonkaamista.

Mikä on miehen käsitys raskaasta työstä?
-Rintaliivien tuplahakasten aukaiseminen.

Mikä on miesten yleisin kolmiottelu?
-Yöjuoksu, huulenheitto ja syrjähyppy.

Mikä on paras tapa pitää mies tyytyväisenä makuuhuoneessa?
-Tuoda sinne televisio.

Mikä on tosimiehen kondomi?
-Kumisaapas.

Millainen on maailman nopein mies?
-Sellainen, joka nukahtaa ennen kuin tulee.

Millainen on mies, joka ei jätä ketään kylmäksi?
-Hän on todennäköisesti töissä krematoriossa.

Mistä tiedät, että mies on saanut orgasmin?
-Kuulet hänen kuorsaavan.

Mistä tiedät, että saippuaoopperat ovat kuvitteellisia?
-Oikeassa elämässä miehet eivät ole helliä sängyn ulkopuolella.

Mitkä ovat kolme tapaa millä nainen saa tehtyä miehen onnelliseksi?
- Tapa 1: Antaa pillua.
- Tapa 2: Antaa pillua.
- Tapa 3: Antaa pillua.

Mitä eroa on tyhmällä ja älykkäällä miehellä?
-Ei mitään. Molemmat luulevat tietävänsä kaiken.

Mitä se on, kun mies riisuu naisen housut?
-Esileikkiä.

Mitä yhteistä on miehellä ja hiirellä?
-Molemmat löytävät reiän pimeässä.

Mitä yhteistä on miehillä ja golfpalloilla?
- Menevät reiältä reiälle.

Mitä yhteistä on miehillä ja mikroaaltouuneilla?
-Kolmekymmentä sekuntia ja valmista on.

Miehen elämän ensimmäinen kokemus on tulla ulos naisen vartalosta.
Lopun elämäänsä hän käyttääkin sitten päästäkseen takaisin sisään

MIKSI pizza toimitetaan nopeammin asiakkaalle kuin ambulanssi saapuu perille?
MIKSI luisteluhallin edessä on parkkipaikka liikuntavammaisille?
MIKSI naiset laittavat ripsiväriä aina suu auki?
MIKSI sana lyhenne ei ole lyhyempi?
MITEN kyltti "kiellettyä astua nurmikolle" on saatu keskelle nurmikkoa?
MIKSI täytyy käyttää käynnistä-valikkoa, kun haluaa sulkea Windowsin?
MIKSI kissanruokaa ei ole hiiren makuisena?
MIKSI koiranruoka-tölkissä lukee; "entistä parempi maku" - kuka on testannut sen?
MIKSI painat kaukosäätimen nappuloita lujempaa, kun patterit ovat melkein tyhjät?
MIKSI Nooa ei lyönyt hyttysparia kuoliaaksi?
MIKSI laitoksilla ja paikoilla, jotka ovat 24 tuntia vuorokaudessa auki, on ylipäänsä lukot?
MIKSI Jumala on antanut miehille sekä aivot että munat, mutta ei tarpeeksi verta niiden käyttämiseen yhtä aikaa?


Jos lukiessasi hymyilit edes kerran, sinun täytyy kopioida tämä omaan päiväkirjaasi, jos haluat myös muiden hymyilevän.

Olenko kaverilistallasi?

Vastaa tähän ja lisää tämä sitten päiväkirjaasi,
ja ylläty kenen listoilla oletkaan.

50-luku
[x] Autot ovat kivoja.
[x] Asun maalla.
[ ] Seuraan urheilua tosi paljon.
[x] Olen lukenut Tuntemattoman sotilaan.
[ ] Jollakin perheestäni on moottoripyörä.
[x] Minulla on nahkatakki.
[x] Omistan poolopaidan.
[x] Kellohameet on kivoja
[x] Rock'n roll on parasta!
TOTAL: 7


60-luku
[ ] Mekot ovat ihania.
[ ] Pidän vaatteissani mustaa ja valkoista.
[ ] Kuviolliset paidat ovat hienoja.
[ ] Käytän hiuspantoja.
[x] Käytän matalia kenkiä.
[ ] Lemon on/oli hyvä yhtye.
[ ] Käytän tai olen käyttänyt LSD:tä.
[ ] Juon olutta.
TOTAL: 1

70-luku
[ ] Omistan pillifarkut.
[x] Minulla on pitkät hiukset.
[ ] Käytän urheiluvaatteita arkivaatteina.
[ ] Korkkarit on kivat kengät.
[ ] Laukustani löytyy aina harja.
[ ] Omistan Marimekon pallopaidan.
[x] Pidän hiuksiani kiinni.
[ ] Hameet on kivoja.
[ ] Minulla on ollut/ on permanentti.
TOTAL: 2

80-luku
[x] Pallokuvio on hienoa.
[x] Kotonani on tietokone.
[ ] Käyn kuntosalilla.
[ ] Pidän värikkäistä vaatteista.
[ ] Omistan Michael Jacksonin levyn/vinyylin.
[x] Olen tilannut pizzaa kotiin.
TOTAL: 3

90-luku
[ ] Olen ollut ensiapukurssilla tai luovuttanut verta.
[ ] Pidän Apulannasta.
[ ] Läskipohjaiset kengät on <3
[x] Olen joskus leikkinyt jojolla.
[ ] Prinsessa Dianan kuolema koskettaa yhä minua.
[x] Kotonani on tietokone ja internet.
TOTAL: 2

2000-luku
[x] Kuuntelen enimmäkseen rock-musiikkia.
[ ] Vaatetyylini vaihtelee usein.
[/] Meikkaan. (joskus 0.5p)
[ ] Olen käynyt plastiikkakirurgilla.
[ ] Voisin mennä plastiikkakirurgille.
[ ] Minulla on/on ollut syömishäiriö.
[ ] Tilaan kotiini jotakin naistenlehteä.
[ ] Olen sitä mieltä, että lihavuus on itsehillinnän puutetta
TOTAL: 1.5


puhtaasti 50-luku <3<3<3<3<3<3

[ ] jos näät jollain kaverillas karkkia, menet pyytämään sitä häneltä
[ ] puhut usein ruoasta
[x] pidät syömisestä
[ ] katsot ruokaan liittyvät mainokset tarkemmin
[x] käytät suurimman osan rahoistasi herkkuihin
[x] haluat joululahjaksi suklaata/muuta karkkia
[ ] syöt tällä hetkellä jotain
[ ] katsot usein ruokaohjelmia tv:stä
[x] viihdyt kaupan karkkiosastolla yleensä yli 5min
[ ] kun näet läskin, tunnet olevasi hänen hengenheimolaisensa
[x] hese/mäkkäri on paras paikka
[ ] arnoldsin donitsit ovat hyviä
[ ] piirrät/kirjoitat usein jotain ruokaan liittyvää
[ ] matkit usein läskiä
[x] sinusta laihat ihmiset ovat sairaita
[ ] liikunta on perseestä
[ ] sinulla on melkein aina lämmin
[ ] ajattelet tällä hetkellä ruokaa
[x] ruokailu on (koulu)päivän paras hetki
[ ] hedelmäkarkit ovat hyviä
[ ] lisäät kahviisi ainakin 5 lusikallista sokeria --
[ ] pidät kotitaloudesta koulussa
[x] tunnet olosi ahtaaksi busseissa
[ ] olet leppoisa ihminen
[ ] saat itsellesi 4 kaksoisleukaa
[ ] jos et keksi puheenaihetta, aloitat yleensä ruoasta
[x] pidät loikoilusta

heheheheh sain 9 en ole läski!!!! (ainakaan tän mukaan)

*****HYVÄÄ UUTTA VUOTTA 2008*****

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Auta kissaa valloittamaan Irc-Galleria
Lisäämällä tämä sinun päiväkirjaasi.

Jos välität minusta, laita minulle "<3"
Ja jos et välitä nii laita "=("
Tarkoituksena on vain saada tietää, kuinka moni välittää.
Kopioi tämä päiväkirjaasi, niin näet ketkä kaikki välittävät sinusta