01. MITEN MENEE?
1. Vettel
2.Alonso
3.Massa
02. MITEN JUOT KAHVISI?
kokis pullost (ei tarvi kahvii)
03. ONKO SINULLA LEMPINIMIÄ ?
Anti... ei espanjalaiset osaa sanoo Antti
04. MITÄ LAJIA HALUAISIT HARRASTAA, MUTTA ET VOI ?
F1kosii ois kiva kokeil
05. MINKÄ VÄRINEN POSSU OLISIT, JOS OLISI PAKKO?
Jos olisi pakko ??... ruskettunu possu oon jo XD
06. ONKO SINULLA KOSKAAN OLLUT SALAISTA IHAILIJAA ?
juu...mont ..kai XD
07. OLETKO KOSKAAN KÄYNYT NAKU-UINNILLA ? MISSÄ ?
Joka kesänä....nakuiäs..... (0-5 vuotian XD )
08. OLETKO KOSKAAN ITKENYT KATSOESSASI ELOKUVAA ? JOS, NIIN MIKÄ ELOKUVA OLI KYSEESSÄ?
Another gay movie.... reps liikaa
09. MIKÄ ON LEMPIELOKUVASI ?
Muistist ne katoo viikos
10. MITÄ ALKOHOLIPITOISTA JUOMAA JOIT VIIMEKSI?
hmmmm..... Anis likööri...tai miten se suomeks sanotaaa
11. OLISIKO ELÄMÄSI ERILAISTA ILMAN ALKOHOLIA?
Juu... ei ois niin monta zombie kaduis
12. TIEDÄTKÖ MITEN ALKOHOLIA KUULUU KÄYTTÄÄ ?
Ei siit suurt hyötyy viel oo löytyny
13. OLETKO KOSKAAN LENTÄNYT ULOS BAARISTA ?
en niin paljoo toisii futis fanei kiusaile XD
15. MILLOIN OLET SEURAAVAN KERRAN HUMALASSA?
Eipä oo siin listas et milläst pitäis tehä
16. PAIDAN VÄRI, JOKA ON NYT PÄÄLLÄSI ?
Sininen....tosi tarkee tieto kai lol
17. KETÄ HALASIT VIIMEKSI ?
En harrasta tollast .. hyi XD....kaun sit jonkun oli kai pakko joskus
18. OLETKO PILKUNVIILAAJA?
ON... täst kyselyst puuttuu 14. kysymys... onnittelut madridin faneil taas hienost kaudest XD
19. MILLAINEN OLET LIIKENTEESSÄ?
nopee
20. MINKÄ MERKKISTÄ AUTOA AJOIT VIIMEKSI?
Toyota celica ...(colin mcrae rally)
21. KETKÄ OLIVAT PARHAITA YSTÄVIÄSI LAPSUUDESSASI ?
Asunu niin mones paikas et niit oli liikaa ... (tai sit en muist XD )
PAHINTA SEURAAVISSA ASIOISSA ON... ?
NIMESSÄNI
lian monimutkainen espanjalaisten herne aivoille XD
KOULUSSANI/ TYÖSSÄNI
kokeet...ihan turhaa mua testail XD
LEMMIKISSÄNI
Lian pieni,tyhmä,laiska,ahne,itseppäinen,karvainen,bla bla bla...
KOTIKAUPUNGISSANI
Ei ole lunta
NAAPUREISSANI
Ei nuorii naisii :´(
KESÄSSÄ
too hot
22. OLETKO KOSKAAN SAANUT 10 TODISTUKSEEN ? JOS OLET, MISTÄ AINEISTA ?
Ei niit kaikkii jaksa muistaa XD
23. MINNE AVAINNIPPUSI AVAIMILLA PÄÄSEE ?
sotkuisiin paikkoihin
24. MILLOIN VIIMEKSI SÖIT LÄÄKKEEN ?
en muist... en harrast tollast XD
25. OLETKO SUUDELLUT KETÄÄN KAVERILISTALLASI OLEVIA ?
mikä lista ?... pusui tääl pitää kyl jakail kun sellainen tapa XD
26. STRESSAATKO?
turhaa
27. ÄRSYTTÄVIN TAPA HERÄTÄ ?
hmmm... no comment XD
28. TUNNETKO HENKILÖÄ, JOSTA OLET PITKÄÄN YRITTÄNYT PÄÄSTÄ VÄKISIN IRTI, MUTTA HÄN EI VAIN TAJUA ?
En... ei tos nyt mitää haasteet oo XD
29. MIKÄ OLISI TODENNÄKÖISIN SYY SIIHEN, ETTÄ OLET JÄÄNYT AUTON ALLE ?
...women ...
30. MITÄ TEIT ENNEN NÄIHIN KYSYMYKSIIN VASTAAMISTA ?
F1 preshow katoin.... (sama tilanne viel kärjes muuten XD)
31. VIIMEISIN ASIA, JONKA JOKU SINULLE OSTI?
hmmm...ei muist XD
32. ERIKOISIN PAIKKA, JOSSA OLET NUKKUNUT ?
Kenttäkeittemen m/96 alla XD
33. EKSOOTTISIN ELÄIN, JOTA OLET KOSKENUT?
hmm... kaikkeehan kiva koskel XD
34. MILLAINEN RIITELIJÄ OLET ?
ei jaks sellasee
35. MIKÄ AUTTAA SINUA SELVIYTYMÄÄN MAHDOLLISISTA SURUISTA ?
ei jaks sellaisee XD
36. MILLAISTA INSIDEHUUMORIA SINULLA ON YSTÄVIESI KANSSA ?
riippuu kenen kans...vaihtelevaa ka XD
37. OLETKO KOSKAAN SEURUSTELLUT SAMAN HENKILÖN KANSSA KAHDESTI ?
ei jaksa sellaiseen XD
38. ONKO SINULLA JOITAIN OUTOJA PELKOJA? MITÄ?
mitä pelkoja ees on ? -.-
39. MITÄ OLET HALUNNUT, MUTTA ET OLE SAANUT?
Aamul...mont eri korttei..ei tuuria ollu holdemmis
40. MITÄ LAITTAISIT JÄÄTELÖANNOKSEN PÄÄLLE?
ei se mitää tartte
41. ENTÄ PIZZAN PÄÄLLE?
kastiket..ketchup ??
42. OLETKO KOSKAAN HAAVEILLUT TIETYSTÄ TALOSTA ?
taloi ne vaa XD
43. KOSKA VIIMEKSI PUHUIT ENGLANTIA ?
melkee jokapäivä XD
44. PAHIN HAAVA/ MURTUMA TMS., MIKÄ SINULLA ON OLLUT ?
nilka oli murtunu...sormi poikki..kiiveskelu kaatuma haavoi... XD
45. MILLAISESTA MUKISTA JOIT VIIMEKSI JOTAIN ? MITÄ JOIT ?
mukist?...pullost juodaan XD
Uusimmat blogimerkinnät
- Outoi juttui XD 14.03.
- The How Well Do YOU Know Women? Test 27.06.
- The Sense of Humor Test 16.05.
- The Dirty Mind Test 29.04.
- The Vanity Test 29.04.
- The Personal Hygiene Test 29.04.
- The Ethics Test 29.04.
- The Cojones Test 29.04.
- The Machismo Test 29.04.
- osaatko käyttäytyä ? 16.03.
Blogi
« Uudemmat
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Vanhemmat »
Outoi juttui XDSunnuntai 14.03.2010 17:11
The How Well Do YOU Know Women? TestLauantai 27.06.2009 04:14
http://www.okcupid.com/tests/take?testid=5370350633757874741
This test is specifically designed to find out how well MEN know WOMEN. Answer honestly to determine accurate results. NO CHEATING-[ this means asking yo momma, sister, g/f or otherwise person w/ a vagina. If you, at any point, feel uncomfortable enough to skip questions just consider yourself a pussy and move on.
1.
1. For starters: How well do you really think you KNOW women?
uhm. pretty good I guess.
I feel I know them better than most men I know.
> They confuse the hell out of me!!
Not so much....
2.
2. Are MOST chicks you know on the dumb side?
Hell yeah! More like 99.9%!
No. Most chicks are smart as hell.
Who cares!
> eh. I really couldn't say for sure....
3.
3. "Do I look fat in this?"
Yeah. A little... HEY, you said you never wanted me to lie to you!
> No, not really.
Hell naw. You're lookin a little too skinny, you need a sammich.
I'm pleading the 5th.....
4.
4. A girl walks up to you and says: "You look familiar" what's this translate into?
> You look familiar.
You're cute and that's my way to start up a convo.
Have we f*cked?
5.
5. Your girlfriend would rather hang out and go party with her girls instead of hanging out with you on your ONLY day off of the week. What's really going on?
She just needs some time w/ the girls. You'll have other days off.
You are borrrrring
> She's lost interest in you.
She's juggling more than one guy at once. You're nothing special.
6.
6. What's it translate into when your girlfriend says: "I love you" ?
...until I find someone better
> Because I really, sincerely do. [Or think I do anyway.....]
I want to have your babies!
I say it only because you said it first and I didn't want you to get upset.
7.
7. If a girl really acts into you/is all over you and then is suddenly (like the next day maybe) ultra distant and acts almost disinterested, what the fuck is going on?
She was just lonely and let her emotions take hold.
She was just really horny at that moment.
She's confused and misleading (make up your mind bitch!)
> She just changed her mind. Easy as that..
8.
8. What does it means when a girl talks waaaaaay too freely about her past sexual experiences on a first date?
Oh yeah.. she totally wants to bang you
She's just trying to make you WANT what you can't have...
Any of these depending on the whore - I mean girl
> Whether true or not, she's testing you and wants to see how you react/respond
9.
9. What's a chick mean when she asks: "What are you thinking?"
I want to eat your brain! gobble gobble gobble
Better be thinking about ME.
I'm curious to know what's on your mind.
> You're being way too quiet.
10.
10. When a chick tells you to "fuck off" what does that translate into?
> Just what SHE said: FUCK OFF
I'm just being "playful"
You are totally violating my restraining order against you,pal
I want you so badly
11.
11. What's a chick mean when she says; "I would hang out with you again - as friends..." ?
Friends with "benefits" that is...
Just what I said. Chicks mean things exactly how they say them.
> I'm sorry, you just aren't my "type"
We will never see, talk, hang out w/ eachother ever again.
12.
12. How do women feel about looking at other women while you have a girlfriend?
Your eyes should be on ME and ME alone!
As long as it's not down right gocking, it's cool.
People watching is not a crime.
> Any guy, in a relationship, who even glances at another woman is a total pig.
13.
13. Your girlfriend is suddenly working alot and making up excuses why she can't see you. What's going on?
Cheating whore!
> Just like she says... she's just really busy lately.
She just doesn't know how to break up with you.
Take a hint!
14.
14. What feels better: Natural Breasts or Fake Breasts?
I don't care. A boobie is a boobie!
I prefer the firmness of fake breasts.
> I prefer the softness of real breasts.
I don't understand why chicks get breast implants. Little boobies are fun too!
15.
15. When your girlfriend is chatting with another female and tells you it's "girl stuff" that usually means:
If i say "tampon" will you run away?
She doesn't want you to know they were discussing one of her exes
> Time for you to cover your ears and start humming
They're discussing your sex life and how tiney your pee pee is [ohh! ..snap]
16.
16. We love it when you kiss us right after going down on us.
Oh yeah. so hot!
> Absolutely NOT. Are you retarded?!
We don't mind it.
We like to taste ourself on your lips.
17.
17. You've given your girlfriend no reason NOT to trust you. But she frequently goes through your email. Why?
She's just bored/curious
> She's had so many cheating boyfriends she trusts NO ONE.
Because she's a total psycho bitch?
She wants any excuse to cheat herself.
18.
18. If a girl you've kinda been dating (say you've gone out a few times) is no longer answering her phone or returning your calls, how do you take this?
> She's no longer interested. But doesn't want to hurt your feelings.
She met someone better.
Maybe she's just been really busy lately. You should still leave atleast one more voicemail to let her know you're still interested.
She HAD to have had her cell phone stolen! You two cliched so well!
19.
19. What does P.M.S stand for ?
Pre Menstrual Syndrome
> Pre Menopausal Syndrome
Pre Menstrual Stage
Please More Sex!
20.
20. When a chick has her period how many days does it typically last for?
7 days
2 days
5 days
> FOREVER
21.
21. Is it possible for a female to become pregnant during her "time of the month" ?
No. Women don't ovulate while we're on our cycle.
I seriously don't know...
>Yes. It can happen.
22.
22. That's right, another "girly question" - What did you expect? Typically, a woman gets her period every _____ ?
25 days
28 days
> 30 days lol....nearly same answers
31 days
23.
23. Okay... it gets a little tougher now. What is the best brand of tampons?
Always
Pearl
Maxi
> OMG. You don't honestly think I would ask you this... do you?!
24.
24. When you ask your partner if it's big enough for her and she replies: "Yeah", what does that mean?
You never ever tell a man he is banking with "insufficient funds"
> Yeah means yeah, stop readin so much into things
It's allright. I guess..........
Are you in? Are you sure you're in?! ....... are you positive
25.
25. There's a chick in your bed and you're heavily making out (you know she's not a virgin or anything) but she doesn't let it go past kissing and maybe some groping. How do you take this?
Total fuckin tease
She doesn't fuck people on the first date. Maybe not even the 2nd or even 3rd....
>Patience is a virtue. You respect the fact she's not a slut.
It's "that time of the month".
26.
26. Why do chicks wear thong underwear?
> No pantylines!
Briefs ride up anyway - this way, it just stays in the crack.
It's sexy when we bend over and you see our whale tail.
Any other underwear are granny panties.
27.
27. Bonus questions. Just for fun. Where does Mascara go?
Cheeks
Eyelashes
Eyelids
> Face got all 4 answer here lol
28.
28. Where does Foundation go?
Cheeks
Eyelashes
Eyelids
>Face
29.
29. Where does Blush go?
Cheeks
Eyelids
Eyelids
> Face
30.
30. Okay. One last question. Fill in the blank. Boys have penises and girls have _____ ?
Attitudes
> Vaginas
Boobies
Fun things for me to play with! woohoo
Well done
You scored 69%
You know a little about women.. Just not enough. You should probably ask me the correct responses so you stop looking like an idiot sometimes....
69 % lol.......little ? lol..............clearly a womans conclusion....its so negative lol
This test is specifically designed to find out how well MEN know WOMEN. Answer honestly to determine accurate results. NO CHEATING-[ this means asking yo momma, sister, g/f or otherwise person w/ a vagina. If you, at any point, feel uncomfortable enough to skip questions just consider yourself a pussy and move on.
1.
1. For starters: How well do you really think you KNOW women?
uhm. pretty good I guess.
I feel I know them better than most men I know.
> They confuse the hell out of me!!
Not so much....
2.
2. Are MOST chicks you know on the dumb side?
Hell yeah! More like 99.9%!
No. Most chicks are smart as hell.
Who cares!
> eh. I really couldn't say for sure....
3.
3. "Do I look fat in this?"
Yeah. A little... HEY, you said you never wanted me to lie to you!
> No, not really.
Hell naw. You're lookin a little too skinny, you need a sammich.
I'm pleading the 5th.....
4.
4. A girl walks up to you and says: "You look familiar" what's this translate into?
> You look familiar.
You're cute and that's my way to start up a convo.
Have we f*cked?
5.
5. Your girlfriend would rather hang out and go party with her girls instead of hanging out with you on your ONLY day off of the week. What's really going on?
She just needs some time w/ the girls. You'll have other days off.
You are borrrrring
> She's lost interest in you.
She's juggling more than one guy at once. You're nothing special.
6.
6. What's it translate into when your girlfriend says: "I love you" ?
...until I find someone better
> Because I really, sincerely do. [Or think I do anyway.....]
I want to have your babies!
I say it only because you said it first and I didn't want you to get upset.
7.
7. If a girl really acts into you/is all over you and then is suddenly (like the next day maybe) ultra distant and acts almost disinterested, what the fuck is going on?
She was just lonely and let her emotions take hold.
She was just really horny at that moment.
She's confused and misleading (make up your mind bitch!)
> She just changed her mind. Easy as that..
8.
8. What does it means when a girl talks waaaaaay too freely about her past sexual experiences on a first date?
Oh yeah.. she totally wants to bang you
She's just trying to make you WANT what you can't have...
Any of these depending on the whore - I mean girl
> Whether true or not, she's testing you and wants to see how you react/respond
9.
9. What's a chick mean when she asks: "What are you thinking?"
I want to eat your brain! gobble gobble gobble
Better be thinking about ME.
I'm curious to know what's on your mind.
> You're being way too quiet.
10.
10. When a chick tells you to "fuck off" what does that translate into?
> Just what SHE said: FUCK OFF
I'm just being "playful"
You are totally violating my restraining order against you,pal
I want you so badly
11.
11. What's a chick mean when she says; "I would hang out with you again - as friends..." ?
Friends with "benefits" that is...
Just what I said. Chicks mean things exactly how they say them.
> I'm sorry, you just aren't my "type"
We will never see, talk, hang out w/ eachother ever again.
12.
12. How do women feel about looking at other women while you have a girlfriend?
Your eyes should be on ME and ME alone!
As long as it's not down right gocking, it's cool.
People watching is not a crime.
> Any guy, in a relationship, who even glances at another woman is a total pig.
13.
13. Your girlfriend is suddenly working alot and making up excuses why she can't see you. What's going on?
Cheating whore!
> Just like she says... she's just really busy lately.
She just doesn't know how to break up with you.
Take a hint!
14.
14. What feels better: Natural Breasts or Fake Breasts?
I don't care. A boobie is a boobie!
I prefer the firmness of fake breasts.
> I prefer the softness of real breasts.
I don't understand why chicks get breast implants. Little boobies are fun too!
15.
15. When your girlfriend is chatting with another female and tells you it's "girl stuff" that usually means:
If i say "tampon" will you run away?
She doesn't want you to know they were discussing one of her exes
> Time for you to cover your ears and start humming
They're discussing your sex life and how tiney your pee pee is [ohh! ..snap]
16.
16. We love it when you kiss us right after going down on us.
Oh yeah. so hot!
> Absolutely NOT. Are you retarded?!
We don't mind it.
We like to taste ourself on your lips.
17.
17. You've given your girlfriend no reason NOT to trust you. But she frequently goes through your email. Why?
She's just bored/curious
> She's had so many cheating boyfriends she trusts NO ONE.
Because she's a total psycho bitch?
She wants any excuse to cheat herself.
18.
18. If a girl you've kinda been dating (say you've gone out a few times) is no longer answering her phone or returning your calls, how do you take this?
> She's no longer interested. But doesn't want to hurt your feelings.
She met someone better.
Maybe she's just been really busy lately. You should still leave atleast one more voicemail to let her know you're still interested.
She HAD to have had her cell phone stolen! You two cliched so well!
19.
19. What does P.M.S stand for ?
Pre Menstrual Syndrome
> Pre Menopausal Syndrome
Pre Menstrual Stage
Please More Sex!
20.
20. When a chick has her period how many days does it typically last for?
7 days
2 days
5 days
> FOREVER
21.
21. Is it possible for a female to become pregnant during her "time of the month" ?
No. Women don't ovulate while we're on our cycle.
I seriously don't know...
>Yes. It can happen.
22.
22. That's right, another "girly question" - What did you expect? Typically, a woman gets her period every _____ ?
25 days
28 days
> 30 days lol....nearly same answers
31 days
23.
23. Okay... it gets a little tougher now. What is the best brand of tampons?
Always
Pearl
Maxi
> OMG. You don't honestly think I would ask you this... do you?!
24.
24. When you ask your partner if it's big enough for her and she replies: "Yeah", what does that mean?
You never ever tell a man he is banking with "insufficient funds"
> Yeah means yeah, stop readin so much into things
It's allright. I guess..........
Are you in? Are you sure you're in?! ....... are you positive
25.
25. There's a chick in your bed and you're heavily making out (you know she's not a virgin or anything) but she doesn't let it go past kissing and maybe some groping. How do you take this?
Total fuckin tease
She doesn't fuck people on the first date. Maybe not even the 2nd or even 3rd....
>Patience is a virtue. You respect the fact she's not a slut.
It's "that time of the month".
26.
26. Why do chicks wear thong underwear?
> No pantylines!
Briefs ride up anyway - this way, it just stays in the crack.
It's sexy when we bend over and you see our whale tail.
Any other underwear are granny panties.
27.
27. Bonus questions. Just for fun. Where does Mascara go?
Cheeks
Eyelashes
Eyelids
> Face got all 4 answer here lol
28.
28. Where does Foundation go?
Cheeks
Eyelashes
Eyelids
>Face
29.
29. Where does Blush go?
Cheeks
Eyelids
Eyelids
> Face
30.
30. Okay. One last question. Fill in the blank. Boys have penises and girls have _____ ?
Attitudes
> Vaginas
Boobies
Fun things for me to play with! woohoo
Well done
You scored 69%
You know a little about women.. Just not enough. You should probably ask me the correct responses so you stop looking like an idiot sometimes....
69 % lol.......little ? lol..............clearly a womans conclusion....its so negative lol
The Sense of Humor Test Lauantai 16.05.2009 23:12
1. You arrive at a party and find that two people, a man and a woman, are wearing the exact same thing as you. How do you react?
I am not at all amused and I am too embarrassed to stay at the party.
I am amused and smile to myself.
----> I think this is really funny and may even walk up to the person and laugh about it with them.
2. You think you recognize a friend in a crowded room. You attract the person's attention (in a way you know only that particular friend would find amusing -WINK WINK!). You hurry over to him/her, but when you get there you discover you made a mistake and the person is a total stranger.
I am slightly amused and smile to myself.
I am embarrassed -not amused.
>I can't help laughing at the fool I just made of myself.
3. You're stuck on a bus for 6 hours and are bored out of your skull. What do you do to amuse yourself?
I make farting noises and watch the other passengers start looking around for the culprit.
I read the Calvin & Hobbs book I brought along.
>I hum some songs to myself.
4. Which T.V. show world would you fit right into?
The Cosby Show or Roseanne.
>The Simpson's or Seinfeld.
Law & Order or OZ
5. Which 'slogan T-shirt' would you most likely wear -if you HAD to wear one that is?
>Growing old is mandatory. Growing up is optional.
I'm really easy to get along with once people learn to worship me.
I'm with stupid!
6. Which of the following 'Words of Wisdom' is funniest to you?
>Always borrow money from a pessimist. She won't expect it back.
Always and never are two words you should always remember never to use.
Accept that some days you're the pigeon and some days you're the statue.
7. Which of the following BAD pick up lines do you think most funny?
Are you an over due book? Because you've got FINE written all over you!
Can I buy you a drink or should I just give you five bucks?
>If you were a booger, I'd pick you.
8. What kind of jokes do you prefer?
>Dark sarcastic jokes.
Blond jokes & Dirty jokes.
Knock -Knock jokes.
9. What's your idea of a funny practical joke - assuming there were only three possibilities of course?
Whoopee pads/cushions.
Saran wrap on the toilet bowl.
>Prank calling.
10. Which of the following 'Deep Thoughts' by Jack Handey is the funniest to you?
I wish I had a kryptonite cross, because then you could keep both Dracula AND Superman away.
---> If you're a cowboy, and you're dragging a guy behind your horse, I bet it would really make you mad if you looked back and the guy was reading a magazine.
If you were a pirate, you know what would be the one thing that would really make you mad? Treasure chests with no handles. How the hell are you supposed to carry it?!
Anytime I see something screech across a room and latch onto someone's neck, and the guy screams and tries to get it off, I have to laugh, because what IS that thing?!
None of the above.
Your score is: 65
Your wacky sense of humor rocks! It appears that you can laugh at just about anything, including yourself -which is way cool! And hey, if you can't laugh at yourself, who can you laugh at right? Just kidding. Of course you know you have to make sure you're not offending anyone right?! In any case, most people probably get a kick out of your wit and most likely love hanging out with you. We think you're pretty funny too!
I am not at all amused and I am too embarrassed to stay at the party.
I am amused and smile to myself.
----> I think this is really funny and may even walk up to the person and laugh about it with them.
2. You think you recognize a friend in a crowded room. You attract the person's attention (in a way you know only that particular friend would find amusing -WINK WINK!). You hurry over to him/her, but when you get there you discover you made a mistake and the person is a total stranger.
I am slightly amused and smile to myself.
I am embarrassed -not amused.
>I can't help laughing at the fool I just made of myself.
3. You're stuck on a bus for 6 hours and are bored out of your skull. What do you do to amuse yourself?
I make farting noises and watch the other passengers start looking around for the culprit.
I read the Calvin & Hobbs book I brought along.
>I hum some songs to myself.
4. Which T.V. show world would you fit right into?
The Cosby Show or Roseanne.
>The Simpson's or Seinfeld.
Law & Order or OZ
5. Which 'slogan T-shirt' would you most likely wear -if you HAD to wear one that is?
>Growing old is mandatory. Growing up is optional.
I'm really easy to get along with once people learn to worship me.
I'm with stupid!
6. Which of the following 'Words of Wisdom' is funniest to you?
>Always borrow money from a pessimist. She won't expect it back.
Always and never are two words you should always remember never to use.
Accept that some days you're the pigeon and some days you're the statue.
7. Which of the following BAD pick up lines do you think most funny?
Are you an over due book? Because you've got FINE written all over you!
Can I buy you a drink or should I just give you five bucks?
>If you were a booger, I'd pick you.
8. What kind of jokes do you prefer?
>Dark sarcastic jokes.
Blond jokes & Dirty jokes.
Knock -Knock jokes.
9. What's your idea of a funny practical joke - assuming there were only three possibilities of course?
Whoopee pads/cushions.
Saran wrap on the toilet bowl.
>Prank calling.
10. Which of the following 'Deep Thoughts' by Jack Handey is the funniest to you?
I wish I had a kryptonite cross, because then you could keep both Dracula AND Superman away.
---> If you're a cowboy, and you're dragging a guy behind your horse, I bet it would really make you mad if you looked back and the guy was reading a magazine.
If you were a pirate, you know what would be the one thing that would really make you mad? Treasure chests with no handles. How the hell are you supposed to carry it?!
Anytime I see something screech across a room and latch onto someone's neck, and the guy screams and tries to get it off, I have to laugh, because what IS that thing?!
None of the above.
Your score is: 65
Your wacky sense of humor rocks! It appears that you can laugh at just about anything, including yourself -which is way cool! And hey, if you can't laugh at yourself, who can you laugh at right? Just kidding. Of course you know you have to make sure you're not offending anyone right?! In any case, most people probably get a kick out of your wit and most likely love hanging out with you. We think you're pretty funny too!
The Dirty Mind Test Keskiviikko 29.04.2009 20:38
http://www.queendom.com/queendom_tests/transfer?req=MXw5ODd8NDU0NzQ0NHwwfDE=&refempt=1
Got sex on the brain? Are your thoughts on a naughty one-way track? Find out how pre-occupied you are with sex with The Dirty Mind Test!
1. You're introduced to three new co-workers who happen to be of the opposite sex. Would one of your first thoughts be, 'which one would I most like to have sex with?'
x Yes
No
2. Would you give up a year of your life if you could live out your ultimate sexual fantasy?
Yes
x No
3. You and your spouse are shopping for mattresses. Do you immediately think about how good the sex will be, rather than the sleep?
x Yes
No
4. You're at a friend's pool party and see their incredibly gorgeous 17-year old nephew (or niece) sunbathing. Do you fantasize about them?
x Yes
No
5. You call up your girlfriend or boyfriend and they say they'll call you back because they're just getting into the shower. Do you mentally insert yourself into the picture?
x Yes
No
6. If you were given a dollar for every time the thought of sex crosses your mind in one day, your wallet would have:
x Twenty dollars.
Fifty dollars.
You need a bigger wallet.
7. You run into a friend's ex at a business convention. You remember hearing how great they were in bed. Do you:
Mentally undress them.
Think about what you're going to have for lunch.
x Imagine the two of you getting it on in the nearest closet.
8. Is it okay to have sexual fantasies about a friend's spouse?
x Yes
No
9. Can you get a massage without thinking about sex?
x Yes
No
10. Do you think about sex more than your career?
Yes
x No
Your score is: 60..... only lol
Although your mind often meanders in the direction of sex, it's not your main preoccupation. You may have particular days when you're feeling more hormonal than others, or perhaps there are certain people or situations that turn your crank and conjure up dirty thoughts. At other times, getting it on is the last thing on your mind. This is probably a healthy approach - fantasizing is healthy for any sex life, but if you go overboard the rest of your life will suffer. How would you get any work done if you were running a constant porno in your head?
Got sex on the brain? Are your thoughts on a naughty one-way track? Find out how pre-occupied you are with sex with The Dirty Mind Test!
1. You're introduced to three new co-workers who happen to be of the opposite sex. Would one of your first thoughts be, 'which one would I most like to have sex with?'
x Yes
No
2. Would you give up a year of your life if you could live out your ultimate sexual fantasy?
Yes
x No
3. You and your spouse are shopping for mattresses. Do you immediately think about how good the sex will be, rather than the sleep?
x Yes
No
4. You're at a friend's pool party and see their incredibly gorgeous 17-year old nephew (or niece) sunbathing. Do you fantasize about them?
x Yes
No
5. You call up your girlfriend or boyfriend and they say they'll call you back because they're just getting into the shower. Do you mentally insert yourself into the picture?
x Yes
No
6. If you were given a dollar for every time the thought of sex crosses your mind in one day, your wallet would have:
x Twenty dollars.
Fifty dollars.
You need a bigger wallet.
7. You run into a friend's ex at a business convention. You remember hearing how great they were in bed. Do you:
Mentally undress them.
Think about what you're going to have for lunch.
x Imagine the two of you getting it on in the nearest closet.
8. Is it okay to have sexual fantasies about a friend's spouse?
x Yes
No
9. Can you get a massage without thinking about sex?
x Yes
No
10. Do you think about sex more than your career?
Yes
x No
Your score is: 60..... only lol
Although your mind often meanders in the direction of sex, it's not your main preoccupation. You may have particular days when you're feeling more hormonal than others, or perhaps there are certain people or situations that turn your crank and conjure up dirty thoughts. At other times, getting it on is the last thing on your mind. This is probably a healthy approach - fantasizing is healthy for any sex life, but if you go overboard the rest of your life will suffer. How would you get any work done if you were running a constant porno in your head?
The Vanity TestKeskiviikko 29.04.2009 20:31
Are you hooked on how you look? Do you think you're "The Fairest of Them All"? Do you spend hours checking yourself out? Put that mirror down and take The Vanity Test!
1. You are given the chance to miraculously change your body to your exact specifications - from hair texture to the size and shape of every part of your body. However, in exchange, your life will be shortened by 10 years. Would you do it?
Yes
X No
2. Would you have cosmetic surgery if it were free?
Yes
X No
3. Would you allow your teenage child to have cosmetic surgery?
X Yes
No
4. When you walk into a room full of people, do you:
Think everyone is looking at you?
X Not even think about who's looking at you?
Look around to see who's looking at you?
5. If you were offered a weekly gift certificate for one year, which of the following would you chose?
A personal trainer.
A hair stylist.
X Dinner and a movie.
6. You've just gotten a roll of pictures developed. Do you look at the pictures of yourself first?
Yes
X No
7. Have you ever had your driver's license photo retaken?
Yes
X No
8. You wake up starving on a Saturday morning and realize you are out of milk. Would you shower before going to the corner store?
Yes
X No
9. Would you wear braces as an adult to fix a slight imperfection?
Yes
X No
10. Do you check yourself out naked in the mirror?
Yes
X No
Your score is: 10 ............ 100 MAX lol
You're the type of person who could go for breakfast sporting bed head and sweat pants without so much as a blink of an eye. Although you probably like to look good just like everyone else, it's just not your obsession. You couldn't be bothered with all those time-consuming beauty routines that sap other people's time, and keep your own daily rituals down to a simplistic minimum. Either you've got better things to do then spend your time styling hair or shopping for the latest fashions, or you're just too lazy. You've got a "take it or leave it" attitude that most likely oozes confidence...or sloppiness, depending on the day. The fact that you're so low maintenance can definitely be an advantage - you save time, money and precious energy - as long as you put in enough effort to be presentable. Remember, first impressions can be powerful!
1. You are given the chance to miraculously change your body to your exact specifications - from hair texture to the size and shape of every part of your body. However, in exchange, your life will be shortened by 10 years. Would you do it?
Yes
X No
2. Would you have cosmetic surgery if it were free?
Yes
X No
3. Would you allow your teenage child to have cosmetic surgery?
X Yes
No
4. When you walk into a room full of people, do you:
Think everyone is looking at you?
X Not even think about who's looking at you?
Look around to see who's looking at you?
5. If you were offered a weekly gift certificate for one year, which of the following would you chose?
A personal trainer.
A hair stylist.
X Dinner and a movie.
6. You've just gotten a roll of pictures developed. Do you look at the pictures of yourself first?
Yes
X No
7. Have you ever had your driver's license photo retaken?
Yes
X No
8. You wake up starving on a Saturday morning and realize you are out of milk. Would you shower before going to the corner store?
Yes
X No
9. Would you wear braces as an adult to fix a slight imperfection?
Yes
X No
10. Do you check yourself out naked in the mirror?
Yes
X No
Your score is: 10 ............ 100 MAX lol
You're the type of person who could go for breakfast sporting bed head and sweat pants without so much as a blink of an eye. Although you probably like to look good just like everyone else, it's just not your obsession. You couldn't be bothered with all those time-consuming beauty routines that sap other people's time, and keep your own daily rituals down to a simplistic minimum. Either you've got better things to do then spend your time styling hair or shopping for the latest fashions, or you're just too lazy. You've got a "take it or leave it" attitude that most likely oozes confidence...or sloppiness, depending on the day. The fact that you're so low maintenance can definitely be an advantage - you save time, money and precious energy - as long as you put in enough effort to be presentable. Remember, first impressions can be powerful!
The Personal Hygiene Test Keskiviikko 29.04.2009 20:26
http://www.queendom.com/queendom_tests/transfer?req=MXwxMDUzfDQ1NDc0NDR8MHwx&refempt=1
Is your cleanliness next to godliness or just god-awful? Are people afraid to stand downwind from you? Grab that sponge and take The Personal Hygiene Test!
1. Would you let a dog lick your face?
Yes
X No
2. Do you think it is necessary to shower after sex?
X Yes
No
3. Do you always wash your hands after using the restroom?
Yes
X No
4. Every time you go over to your new boyfriend or girlfriend's house, it is filthy. Do you:
X Say nothing.
Confront them about their mess.
Break up with them.
5. How often do you wash your sheets?
Once a week.
X Every 2 weeks.
Once a month or longer.
6. Would you use a public toilet without lining it first?
X Yes
No
7. Would you be comfortable wearing the same underwear twice without washing them?
X Yes
No
8. Would you use your mate's toothbrush?
Yes
X No
9. You drop a cookie on the sidewalk. Do you pick it up and eat it?
Yes
X No
10. Do you pee in the shower?
Yes
X No
Your score is: 55
When it comes to hygiene, you're a happy, healthy medium. You know the importance of cleanliness, both for protection against nasty germs and to maintain a decent appearance, but you don't go to extremes. When the situation calls for a little flexibility - like camping and having to use a grimy outdoor toilet - you're willing to suck it up and tolerate a less than hygienic situation. Generally, though, you make the effort to avoid micro-creepies and crawlies. Depending on your answers to specific questions on the test, you seem to be winning the war against germs. If you answered, however, that you don't always wash your hands after using the loo, this would be a good time to reassess your habits!
Is your cleanliness next to godliness or just god-awful? Are people afraid to stand downwind from you? Grab that sponge and take The Personal Hygiene Test!
1. Would you let a dog lick your face?
Yes
X No
2. Do you think it is necessary to shower after sex?
X Yes
No
3. Do you always wash your hands after using the restroom?
Yes
X No
4. Every time you go over to your new boyfriend or girlfriend's house, it is filthy. Do you:
X Say nothing.
Confront them about their mess.
Break up with them.
5. How often do you wash your sheets?
Once a week.
X Every 2 weeks.
Once a month or longer.
6. Would you use a public toilet without lining it first?
X Yes
No
7. Would you be comfortable wearing the same underwear twice without washing them?
X Yes
No
8. Would you use your mate's toothbrush?
Yes
X No
9. You drop a cookie on the sidewalk. Do you pick it up and eat it?
Yes
X No
10. Do you pee in the shower?
Yes
X No
Your score is: 55
When it comes to hygiene, you're a happy, healthy medium. You know the importance of cleanliness, both for protection against nasty germs and to maintain a decent appearance, but you don't go to extremes. When the situation calls for a little flexibility - like camping and having to use a grimy outdoor toilet - you're willing to suck it up and tolerate a less than hygienic situation. Generally, though, you make the effort to avoid micro-creepies and crawlies. Depending on your answers to specific questions on the test, you seem to be winning the war against germs. If you answered, however, that you don't always wash your hands after using the loo, this would be a good time to reassess your habits!
The Ethics Test Keskiviikko 29.04.2009 20:15
http://www.queendom.com/queendom_tests/transfer?req=MXw5OTR8NDU0NzQ0NHwwfDE=&refempt=1
Got a heart of gold? Are you an angel in disguise or do you have a bit of a rebellious devil in you? Find out if you love to be bad with The Ethics Test.
1. Would you appear in a pornographic movie if you could be sure that your friends and family would never see it?
Yes
X No
2. Would you sell a story to the tabloids for $5,000,000 knowing it will ruin the life of a celebrity you don't know personally?
X Yes
No
3. Do you agree with the following statement? 'If drugs were legal, I'd totally do them.'
Yes
X No
4. You accidentally run over a little dog with your car. Do you:
X Keep driving.
Contact the owner and explain the situation.
Contact the owner, but say somebody else did it.
5. You meet a strikingly attractive person at a bar. They want to have sex and so do you. One problem: you think you may have a venereal disease, but you're not sure. Would you:
X Sleep with them, use a condom, but not tell them you might be infected.
Take your chances and tell them.
Refrain from sex until you see a doctor.
6. Your best friend tells you they stole $10,000 from a charity. Do you turn them in?
Yes
X No
7. Would you post naked pictures of your dirt bag ex on the Internet?
Yes
X No
8. Do you agree with the following statement? 'It's okay to steal from huge corporations, because they're inherently dishonest themselves.'
Yes
X No
9. Would you exaggerate your losses on an insurance claim?
X Yes
No
10. Have you ever lied to get someone in the sack?
Yes
X No
Your score is: 50
Your test score showed that you are walking a fine line between ethical and corrupt. While you don't always choose the lowdown and dirty route to getting what you want, you do commit the occasional no-no. Societal rules may change over time and across cultures, but there are certain behaviors that are just no good. Lying, cheating, stealing... there's no arguing that these are low-down and dirty. You seem to be torn in two directions; being decent or playing dirty to get what you want. And, in certain situations, the temptation is too strong and you just can't resist because of potential rewards (5 million dollars, a night of great sex, etc.). Perhaps you are able to convince yourself afterwards that you're only human, that anyone would do it - or you suffer from a guilty conscience. Whatever the case, you should take a look at your wavering scruples and work on controlling those impulses. They may be human, but they can seriously hurt others or get you in hot water!
Got a heart of gold? Are you an angel in disguise or do you have a bit of a rebellious devil in you? Find out if you love to be bad with The Ethics Test.
1. Would you appear in a pornographic movie if you could be sure that your friends and family would never see it?
Yes
X No
2. Would you sell a story to the tabloids for $5,000,000 knowing it will ruin the life of a celebrity you don't know personally?
X Yes
No
3. Do you agree with the following statement? 'If drugs were legal, I'd totally do them.'
Yes
X No
4. You accidentally run over a little dog with your car. Do you:
X Keep driving.
Contact the owner and explain the situation.
Contact the owner, but say somebody else did it.
5. You meet a strikingly attractive person at a bar. They want to have sex and so do you. One problem: you think you may have a venereal disease, but you're not sure. Would you:
X Sleep with them, use a condom, but not tell them you might be infected.
Take your chances and tell them.
Refrain from sex until you see a doctor.
6. Your best friend tells you they stole $10,000 from a charity. Do you turn them in?
Yes
X No
7. Would you post naked pictures of your dirt bag ex on the Internet?
Yes
X No
8. Do you agree with the following statement? 'It's okay to steal from huge corporations, because they're inherently dishonest themselves.'
Yes
X No
9. Would you exaggerate your losses on an insurance claim?
X Yes
No
10. Have you ever lied to get someone in the sack?
Yes
X No
Your score is: 50
Your test score showed that you are walking a fine line between ethical and corrupt. While you don't always choose the lowdown and dirty route to getting what you want, you do commit the occasional no-no. Societal rules may change over time and across cultures, but there are certain behaviors that are just no good. Lying, cheating, stealing... there's no arguing that these are low-down and dirty. You seem to be torn in two directions; being decent or playing dirty to get what you want. And, in certain situations, the temptation is too strong and you just can't resist because of potential rewards (5 million dollars, a night of great sex, etc.). Perhaps you are able to convince yourself afterwards that you're only human, that anyone would do it - or you suffer from a guilty conscience. Whatever the case, you should take a look at your wavering scruples and work on controlling those impulses. They may be human, but they can seriously hurt others or get you in hot water!
The Cojones Test Keskiviikko 29.04.2009 20:13
Are you a gutsy risk-taker or a play-it-safe type? Do you love staring danger in the face or prefer running the other way in order to live to see another day? Find out how brave you are with The Cojones Test!
http://www.queendom.com/queendom_tests/transfer?req=MXw5Nzd8NDU0NzQ0NHwwfDE=&refempt=1
1. You have just settled in for the night when you hear a woman screaming from the apartment next door. It sounds like there is a fight in progress. Do you go next door to make sure everything is ok?
Yes
X No
2. You have proof that the President of the United States was involved in a hit and run accident while in college. Do you tell the public?
Yes
X No
3. Would you or have you ever dated two people simultaneously, without telling either one?
Yes
X No
4. You're out on the town with friends and you see your mother-in-law romantically kissing a man... and he's not your father-in-law. Do you:
Tell your partner.
Spill the beans to your father-in-law.
X Confront your mother-in-law.
5. It's your first day at a new job. Your new boss pats you on the butt as you are walking bye. Do you:
X Tell them to keep their hands off you.
Keep the incident a secret.
Anonymously report him or her to Human Resources.
6. Would you run into a burning building to save a neighbor's cat?
X Yes
No
7. If our country were at war, would you enlist in the military?
X Yes
No
8. Have you ever been skydiving?
Yes
X No
9. Would you ever pick up a hitchhiker?
X Yes
No
10. Would you ever 'run with the bulls' in Pamplona, Spain?
Yes
X No
Your score is: 45
What does your score mean?
Your test score reveals that you've got major cojones when the situation calls for it - but at other times you prefer to play it safe. Perhaps there are certain things you will do, despite the risk involved, because they are important to you or the possible pay off makes them worth it. Or maybe certain consequences of such chancy behavior just don't scare you - we all have different fears. Some people, for example, are terrified of spiders but wouldn't hesitate to fling their bodies out of an air-borne plane. Whatever your case, carefully weigh the possible benefits against the risks before you make any hasty decisions.
http://www.queendom.com/queendom_tests/transfer?req=MXw5Nzd8NDU0NzQ0NHwwfDE=&refempt=1
1. You have just settled in for the night when you hear a woman screaming from the apartment next door. It sounds like there is a fight in progress. Do you go next door to make sure everything is ok?
Yes
X No
2. You have proof that the President of the United States was involved in a hit and run accident while in college. Do you tell the public?
Yes
X No
3. Would you or have you ever dated two people simultaneously, without telling either one?
Yes
X No
4. You're out on the town with friends and you see your mother-in-law romantically kissing a man... and he's not your father-in-law. Do you:
Tell your partner.
Spill the beans to your father-in-law.
X Confront your mother-in-law.
5. It's your first day at a new job. Your new boss pats you on the butt as you are walking bye. Do you:
X Tell them to keep their hands off you.
Keep the incident a secret.
Anonymously report him or her to Human Resources.
6. Would you run into a burning building to save a neighbor's cat?
X Yes
No
7. If our country were at war, would you enlist in the military?
X Yes
No
8. Have you ever been skydiving?
Yes
X No
9. Would you ever pick up a hitchhiker?
X Yes
No
10. Would you ever 'run with the bulls' in Pamplona, Spain?
Yes
X No
Your score is: 45
What does your score mean?
Your test score reveals that you've got major cojones when the situation calls for it - but at other times you prefer to play it safe. Perhaps there are certain things you will do, despite the risk involved, because they are important to you or the possible pay off makes them worth it. Or maybe certain consequences of such chancy behavior just don't scare you - we all have different fears. Some people, for example, are terrified of spiders but wouldn't hesitate to fling their bodies out of an air-borne plane. Whatever your case, carefully weigh the possible benefits against the risks before you make any hasty decisions.
The Machismo Test Keskiviikko 29.04.2009 20:05
http://www.queendom.com/queendom_tests/transfer?req=MXwxMDM0fDQ1NDc0NDR8MHwx&refempt=1
1. After viewing a “guy flick” filled with tons of juicy car chases and fight scenes, do you walk out of the movie with an overwhelming desire to put the “peddle to the medal” or pick a scrap with the first guy who looks at you the wrong way?
X Not really - itÂ’s only a movie after all.
Somewhat - though I would never act on it.
Absolutely – I’ve got to release my adrenaline-overload somehow.
2. Do you often brag about your sexual conquests?
X Of course. I have an image to uphold – even if I have to stretch the truth a little.
Sometimes, but only if the other guys start talking about theirs.
Never. ItÂ’s nobodyÂ’s business what goes on in my private life, or that of my partner(s) for that matter.
3. If a buddy dared you to do some crazy stunt like bungee jumping, would you do it?
IÂ’d insist he do it first. This way, if he chickens out, it gives me an excuse to back out.
IÂ’d do it. I refuse to turn down any dare.
X Are you nuts?
4. Your main squeeze has requested that, for a change, sheÂ’ll drive you around. You would most likely:
Refuse outright - youÂ’re the manÂ…youÂ’ll drive.
X Try to discourage the idea—you’re much more comfortable when you’re in the driver’s seat.
Agree - why should you always have to be the chauffeur?
5. Your lover has delicately suggested that your performance in bed leaves a little to be desired. What is your reaction?
X IÂ’d ask her to tell me what she didnÂ’t like and what I could improve.
IÂ’d be a little upset and embarrassed but IÂ’d get over it. I might use a few new or different moves to impress her next time around.
IÂ’d naturally assume she is insane and break up with her.
6. While hanging at a bar, a handful of drunks start picking on your buddy. Even with your help, you and your friend are hopelessly outnumbered and will probably end up with a serious ass-whooping. You would:
X Try to talk some sense into them – if that fails; you’ll let your fists do the talking.
Jump in fists and all, and hope for the best.
Wish your friend luck and run like the wind!
7. You find yourself unemployed and in serious need of some immediate cash. The only job offering open to you right now is that of an apprentice hairdresser. Would you accept the position?
Why not? It might ultimately become a good career choice and creative outlet.
IÂ’d accept it until something else came along.
X No way. IÂ’d rather starve than accept such a girly job.
8. You and your buddies are watching a movie with some serious tear-jerking scenes. One of your friends is so touched by the film that he is moved to tears. Your reaction is to:
Be completely disgusted. Guys donÂ’t cry!
X Tease him a little – if only to distract yourself from that lump in your throat.
Pass the tissue, as you reacted to the film exactly the same way. Hey guys can cry too you know!
9. Do you ever behave towards women in a way that might make them feel demeaned or objectified such as referring to them as: “chicks”, “broads”, “toots”, “babes” “peaches”, bunnies”, “bimbos” etc.?
Sometimes, but not intentionally.
I wouldnÂ’t dare!
X Demeaned? Objectified? Feel? — Uh, I don’t think I understand the question.
10. Which of the following celebrities do you identify with the most?
Arnold Schwarzenegger
X Mel Gibson
Justin Timberlake
Your score is: 50
What does your score mean?
While you don’t totally ooze machismo, you’ve still got quite a few musky male qualities. You may appear to be a typically “macho” kind of guy on the surface, but there’s more to you beneath that tough exterior. Although you’re not afraid to show your sensitive side, no one would accuse you of being a wimp. Your controlled competitive spirit makes you fun to hang with, while your sensitivity likely makes you quite appealing to women. This is a great balance to have – just remember that men who are truly secure in their manhood don’t really feel the need to prove it.
1. After viewing a “guy flick” filled with tons of juicy car chases and fight scenes, do you walk out of the movie with an overwhelming desire to put the “peddle to the medal” or pick a scrap with the first guy who looks at you the wrong way?
X Not really - itÂ’s only a movie after all.
Somewhat - though I would never act on it.
Absolutely – I’ve got to release my adrenaline-overload somehow.
2. Do you often brag about your sexual conquests?
X Of course. I have an image to uphold – even if I have to stretch the truth a little.
Sometimes, but only if the other guys start talking about theirs.
Never. ItÂ’s nobodyÂ’s business what goes on in my private life, or that of my partner(s) for that matter.
3. If a buddy dared you to do some crazy stunt like bungee jumping, would you do it?
IÂ’d insist he do it first. This way, if he chickens out, it gives me an excuse to back out.
IÂ’d do it. I refuse to turn down any dare.
X Are you nuts?
4. Your main squeeze has requested that, for a change, sheÂ’ll drive you around. You would most likely:
Refuse outright - youÂ’re the manÂ…youÂ’ll drive.
X Try to discourage the idea—you’re much more comfortable when you’re in the driver’s seat.
Agree - why should you always have to be the chauffeur?
5. Your lover has delicately suggested that your performance in bed leaves a little to be desired. What is your reaction?
X IÂ’d ask her to tell me what she didnÂ’t like and what I could improve.
IÂ’d be a little upset and embarrassed but IÂ’d get over it. I might use a few new or different moves to impress her next time around.
IÂ’d naturally assume she is insane and break up with her.
6. While hanging at a bar, a handful of drunks start picking on your buddy. Even with your help, you and your friend are hopelessly outnumbered and will probably end up with a serious ass-whooping. You would:
X Try to talk some sense into them – if that fails; you’ll let your fists do the talking.
Jump in fists and all, and hope for the best.
Wish your friend luck and run like the wind!
7. You find yourself unemployed and in serious need of some immediate cash. The only job offering open to you right now is that of an apprentice hairdresser. Would you accept the position?
Why not? It might ultimately become a good career choice and creative outlet.
IÂ’d accept it until something else came along.
X No way. IÂ’d rather starve than accept such a girly job.
8. You and your buddies are watching a movie with some serious tear-jerking scenes. One of your friends is so touched by the film that he is moved to tears. Your reaction is to:
Be completely disgusted. Guys donÂ’t cry!
X Tease him a little – if only to distract yourself from that lump in your throat.
Pass the tissue, as you reacted to the film exactly the same way. Hey guys can cry too you know!
9. Do you ever behave towards women in a way that might make them feel demeaned or objectified such as referring to them as: “chicks”, “broads”, “toots”, “babes” “peaches”, bunnies”, “bimbos” etc.?
Sometimes, but not intentionally.
I wouldnÂ’t dare!
X Demeaned? Objectified? Feel? — Uh, I don’t think I understand the question.
10. Which of the following celebrities do you identify with the most?
Arnold Schwarzenegger
X Mel Gibson
Justin Timberlake
Your score is: 50
What does your score mean?
While you don’t totally ooze machismo, you’ve still got quite a few musky male qualities. You may appear to be a typically “macho” kind of guy on the surface, but there’s more to you beneath that tough exterior. Although you’re not afraid to show your sensitive side, no one would accuse you of being a wimp. Your controlled competitive spirit makes you fun to hang with, while your sensitivity likely makes you quite appealing to women. This is a great balance to have – just remember that men who are truly secure in their manhood don’t really feel the need to prove it.
osaatko käyttäytyä ?Maanantai 16.03.2009 18:08
http://www.hs.fi/viesti/kaytostapatesti
1 / 15
Olet syömässä ystäväsi kanssa ja hän kysyy sinulta jotain juuri, kun olet lastannut suusi täyteen ruokaa. Mitä teet?
Vastaan heti, mutta pidän lautasliinan suuni edessä ettei ruokaa putoa pöydälle
Vispaan käsilläni merkiksi, että nielen ensin
Vastaan vaikkei siitä saisikaan mitään selvää, hiljainen hetki on kiusallinen
Keskustelen normaalisti, en koskaan syö niin suuria suupaloja ettenkö pystyisi puhumaan
--> Säilön ruuan hetkeksi kämmeneen ja vastaan kysymykseen
2 / 15
Olet kaupungilla kaverisi kanssa ja törmäätte vanhaan tuttuusi. Miten esittelet tuttavasi toisilleen?
--> Vaihdan kuulumiset vain nopeasti, ei kai silloin tarvitse esitellä
Vaihdan kuulumiset ensin ja sitten muistan esittelyn: ”Ai niin, tässä on Petteri, tässä Marjukka”.
”Marjukka, tässä on Petteri; Petteri, tässä on Marjukka. Teillähän onkin paljon yhteistä kun teillä on ollut molemmilla niitä peräpukamia!”
”Marjukka, tässä on Petteri; Petteri, tässä on Marjukka. Muistattekohan toisenne viime kesän puutarhajuhlista?”
”Marjukka, tässä on Petteri; Petteri, tässä on Marjukka. Mulle tulikin vähän kiire, teillä varmaan riittää juttua vähäksi aikaa.”
3 / 15
Olet nousemassa seuraavalla pysäkillä pois bussista. Miten ilmoitat vieruskaverille aikeistasi?
Nousemisen merkiksi puen hanskat käteen, kyllä vieruskaveri osaa siitä tulkita että olen lähdössä
Ujutan käteni vieruskaverin editse ja painan nappia
Alan liikehtiä levottomasti
Sanon ääneen, että olen poistumassa seuraavalla pysäkillä
Nousen ja jyrään vieruskaverin paikaltaan
-->Pidän aina laukun viereisellä paikalla, joten vieressäni ei istu ketään
4 / 15
Sinut esitellään hienolle ladylle, joka lähestyy sinua huulet supussa. Miten reagoit?
Moiskautan takaisin kunnon pusun
Lehahdan punaiseksi
Alan suikkailla suukkoja ladyn poskille vuorotellen molemmin puolin niin kauan että varmasti on tullut tarpeeksi monta
Jäykistyn enkä huomaa taivuttaa päätäni, joten päämme törmäävät yhteen
Ei minua pääse suutelemaan, koska varmuuden vuoksi lähestyn ladya käsi ojossa valmiina kättelemään
-->Katselen taivaalle enkä ole huomaavinani
5 / 15
Kaupan kassajonossa edessäsi seisovalla naisella on jäänyt hame niin mutkalle, että sukkahousujen haarakiila paistaa. Mitä teet?
En mitään, en halua että nainen nolostuu pahemman kerran
-->Hymähtelen ja katselen ympärilläolijoita merkitsevästi nyökkäillen naisen suuntaan
Koputan varovasti naista olkapäälle ja kehotan poikkeamaan naistenhuoneessa (samalla vapautuu kätevästi paikka jonossa)
Alan hivuttaa naisen hametta alas, ei hän varmaan huomaa mutta näin välttää nolon tilanteen
Otan kamerakännykällä kuvan ja lähetän kaverille
6 / 15
Olet syömässä ravintolassa Suomessa ja olet saanut tarjoilijalta erityisen hyvää palvelua. Mitä teet?
Kiitän poistuessani ja katson silmiin
Taputamme koko seurueen voimin
Tyhjennän lompakon kolikot laskun päälle
Annan mehevän tipin ja varmistan, että kaikki ympärilläni tulevat siitä tietoisiksi
-->Tekisi mieli antaa tippiä, mutta se ei ole mielestäni Suomessa tarpeellista
Annan kunnon tipin ja odotan, että seuraavalla kerralla pääsen ravintolaan jonon ohi
7 / 15
Kotitalosi rapussa tulee vastaan sinulle ennestään tuntematon ihminen. Miten reagoit?
Tervehdin ja kyselen kiinnostuneena, kuka hän on ja millä asioilla
Tervehdin ja kyselen epäluuloisena, kuka hän on ja millä asioilla
”Ei osteta mitään!” huudan jo kaukaa
-->En mitenkään, en jaksa tervehtiä tuntemattomia
Nyökkään ja hiippailen ohi
Meinaan tervehtiä mutta en sittenkään saa suustani ääntäkään
Laitan seuraavana päivänä lapun ulko-oveen: ”Ei vieraita!”
8 / 15
Sinut on pyydetty juhlien pääpuhujaksi. Miten toimit?
Kirjoitan fiksun ja hauskan puheen. Luen sen varmuuden vuoksi paperista, etten unohda yhtäkään hyvää kohtaa
Kilistän lasia puheen alkajaisiksi ja improvisoin lämpimän puheen
Alan puhua loukkaantuneena kun kukaan ei kuuntele
Pidän loistavan puheen kunhan jälkiruokaviini on vähän poistanut jännitystä
-->Puheeni kuuluu: ”Öö, tervetuloa... Ja kippis!”
Hikoilen vietävästi, mutta luulen että vieraat jaksoivat kuunnella puheeni nukahtamatta
9 / 15
Jos saat kutsukortin ja sinulta odotetaan vastausta kutsuun, millä lyhenteellä siitä ilmoitetaan?
(ei hajuakaan lol)
OPM
KGB
VSOP
RSVP
EVVK
YYA
RSEVP
HIFK <--- kun se ainakin väärä lol
10 / 15
Tilaat ravintolassa pullon viiniä. Tarjoilija näyttää sinulle pullon etikettiä ja kaataa lasiin tilkan. Miten kommentoit?
Etkö aio kaataa enempää?
Hmm... Maku on rusinainen, hieman hiivainen, selvästi kypsynyt sateisena kesänä...
--> En tykkääkään tästä, voisitko suositella jotain muuta?
Hieman liian kuivaa, mutta kelvatkoon nyt silti
Nyökkään hillitysti
Kuppi täyteen vaan!
11 / 15
Istut palaverissa ja mahasi on aivan ilmaa pullollaan. Tunnet, että pierun tuloa ei voi estää. Mitä teet?
Yritän äänetöntä versiota ja toivon, ettei kukaan haista mitään
Pieraisen rohkeasti, minulla on siihen oikeus omalla työpaikallani
--> Yritän ajoittaa röyhtäyksen samaan aikaan, kyllä pieru hukkuu sen alle
Ryntään juoksujalkaa vessaan ja sekoitan puhujan ajatukset
Pidättelen, mahan kurinaa luullaan varmaan näläksi
Pieraisen ja alan ihmetellä ääneen: ”Kuka täällä haisee?”
12 / 15
Kännykkäsi soi elokuvateatterissa kesken kaiken. Mitä teet?
Alan selostaa elokuvan juonta kovaan ääneen
--> Vastaan ja supisen, etten voi puhua
Lähden salin ulkopuolelle puhumaan ja koko rivi joutuu nousemaan tieltäni
Suljen puhelimen ja paheksun ääneen, miten joku pitää puhelintaan päällä
Suljen puhelimen ja häpeän niin paljon, etten ota kännykkää enää koskaan mukaani minnekään
13 / 15
Olet lähdössä juhliin mustassa puvussa, mutta sukkalaatikon pohjalla häämöttävät vain valkoiset tennissukat. Mitä teet?
Puristan sukkamehut likaisista mustista sukistani, en panisi valkoisia sukkia mistään hinnasta
En laita sukkia ollenkaan
--> Laitan valkoiset sukat, kyllä tarpeeksi pitkät lahkeeni peittävät ne
Tennissukat ovat niin klassikko, että pukeudun niihin ja uskon muiden ymmärtävän ironian
Väritän nilkkani tussilla mustiksi
14 / 15
Seisot esiintymislavalla ja housusi tuntuvat kiristävän haaroista. Mitä teet?
Oikaisen genitaalit parempaan asentoon
--> Aloitan puheen välittämättä hiertävistä housuista
Kätken housujen oikomisen pieneen steppi-improvisaatioon
Kaivan nenääni samaan aikaan kiinnittääkseni huomion pois haarovälini kaivelemisesta
Hivuttaudun pylvään taakse oikaisemaan housut
15 / 15
Mitä nyt sanotaan?
--> Kiitos!
Ole hyvä!
Eipä kestä!
EVVK
Kiitos käynnistä!
Hölökynkölökyn!
Testaa, osaatko lopettaa
Käyttäydyt perinteisesti mutta tahdittomasti
Haluat kunnioittaa muita ihmisiä ja käyttäydyt useimmiten perinteisiä kaavoja noudattaen. Aina tämä ei kuitenkaan ole vain hyvä asia, vaan tietynasteinen vanhanaikaisuus saa sinut käyttäytymään toisinaan suomalaisen jäyhästi ja ehkä estää sinua oppimasta uusia tapoja.
Tilannetaju on kuitenkin sinulle vieras käsite. Reippaat otteet ja ronski elämänasenteesi saavat kanssaihmiset välillä varpailleen. Se mikä naurattaa kaveriporukan saunaillassa, ei välttämättä toimi juhlapöydässä.
Testin tekijöistä kaltaisiasi on alle 1 prosentti.
Aika hyvin osuu kohdalle kai lol
1 / 15
Olet syömässä ystäväsi kanssa ja hän kysyy sinulta jotain juuri, kun olet lastannut suusi täyteen ruokaa. Mitä teet?
Vastaan heti, mutta pidän lautasliinan suuni edessä ettei ruokaa putoa pöydälle
Vispaan käsilläni merkiksi, että nielen ensin
Vastaan vaikkei siitä saisikaan mitään selvää, hiljainen hetki on kiusallinen
Keskustelen normaalisti, en koskaan syö niin suuria suupaloja ettenkö pystyisi puhumaan
--> Säilön ruuan hetkeksi kämmeneen ja vastaan kysymykseen
2 / 15
Olet kaupungilla kaverisi kanssa ja törmäätte vanhaan tuttuusi. Miten esittelet tuttavasi toisilleen?
--> Vaihdan kuulumiset vain nopeasti, ei kai silloin tarvitse esitellä
Vaihdan kuulumiset ensin ja sitten muistan esittelyn: ”Ai niin, tässä on Petteri, tässä Marjukka”.
”Marjukka, tässä on Petteri; Petteri, tässä on Marjukka. Teillähän onkin paljon yhteistä kun teillä on ollut molemmilla niitä peräpukamia!”
”Marjukka, tässä on Petteri; Petteri, tässä on Marjukka. Muistattekohan toisenne viime kesän puutarhajuhlista?”
”Marjukka, tässä on Petteri; Petteri, tässä on Marjukka. Mulle tulikin vähän kiire, teillä varmaan riittää juttua vähäksi aikaa.”
3 / 15
Olet nousemassa seuraavalla pysäkillä pois bussista. Miten ilmoitat vieruskaverille aikeistasi?
Nousemisen merkiksi puen hanskat käteen, kyllä vieruskaveri osaa siitä tulkita että olen lähdössä
Ujutan käteni vieruskaverin editse ja painan nappia
Alan liikehtiä levottomasti
Sanon ääneen, että olen poistumassa seuraavalla pysäkillä
Nousen ja jyrään vieruskaverin paikaltaan
-->Pidän aina laukun viereisellä paikalla, joten vieressäni ei istu ketään
4 / 15
Sinut esitellään hienolle ladylle, joka lähestyy sinua huulet supussa. Miten reagoit?
Moiskautan takaisin kunnon pusun
Lehahdan punaiseksi
Alan suikkailla suukkoja ladyn poskille vuorotellen molemmin puolin niin kauan että varmasti on tullut tarpeeksi monta
Jäykistyn enkä huomaa taivuttaa päätäni, joten päämme törmäävät yhteen
Ei minua pääse suutelemaan, koska varmuuden vuoksi lähestyn ladya käsi ojossa valmiina kättelemään
-->Katselen taivaalle enkä ole huomaavinani
5 / 15
Kaupan kassajonossa edessäsi seisovalla naisella on jäänyt hame niin mutkalle, että sukkahousujen haarakiila paistaa. Mitä teet?
En mitään, en halua että nainen nolostuu pahemman kerran
-->Hymähtelen ja katselen ympärilläolijoita merkitsevästi nyökkäillen naisen suuntaan
Koputan varovasti naista olkapäälle ja kehotan poikkeamaan naistenhuoneessa (samalla vapautuu kätevästi paikka jonossa)
Alan hivuttaa naisen hametta alas, ei hän varmaan huomaa mutta näin välttää nolon tilanteen
Otan kamerakännykällä kuvan ja lähetän kaverille
6 / 15
Olet syömässä ravintolassa Suomessa ja olet saanut tarjoilijalta erityisen hyvää palvelua. Mitä teet?
Kiitän poistuessani ja katson silmiin
Taputamme koko seurueen voimin
Tyhjennän lompakon kolikot laskun päälle
Annan mehevän tipin ja varmistan, että kaikki ympärilläni tulevat siitä tietoisiksi
-->Tekisi mieli antaa tippiä, mutta se ei ole mielestäni Suomessa tarpeellista
Annan kunnon tipin ja odotan, että seuraavalla kerralla pääsen ravintolaan jonon ohi
7 / 15
Kotitalosi rapussa tulee vastaan sinulle ennestään tuntematon ihminen. Miten reagoit?
Tervehdin ja kyselen kiinnostuneena, kuka hän on ja millä asioilla
Tervehdin ja kyselen epäluuloisena, kuka hän on ja millä asioilla
”Ei osteta mitään!” huudan jo kaukaa
-->En mitenkään, en jaksa tervehtiä tuntemattomia
Nyökkään ja hiippailen ohi
Meinaan tervehtiä mutta en sittenkään saa suustani ääntäkään
Laitan seuraavana päivänä lapun ulko-oveen: ”Ei vieraita!”
8 / 15
Sinut on pyydetty juhlien pääpuhujaksi. Miten toimit?
Kirjoitan fiksun ja hauskan puheen. Luen sen varmuuden vuoksi paperista, etten unohda yhtäkään hyvää kohtaa
Kilistän lasia puheen alkajaisiksi ja improvisoin lämpimän puheen
Alan puhua loukkaantuneena kun kukaan ei kuuntele
Pidän loistavan puheen kunhan jälkiruokaviini on vähän poistanut jännitystä
-->Puheeni kuuluu: ”Öö, tervetuloa... Ja kippis!”
Hikoilen vietävästi, mutta luulen että vieraat jaksoivat kuunnella puheeni nukahtamatta
9 / 15
Jos saat kutsukortin ja sinulta odotetaan vastausta kutsuun, millä lyhenteellä siitä ilmoitetaan?
(ei hajuakaan lol)
OPM
KGB
VSOP
RSVP
EVVK
YYA
RSEVP
HIFK <--- kun se ainakin väärä lol
10 / 15
Tilaat ravintolassa pullon viiniä. Tarjoilija näyttää sinulle pullon etikettiä ja kaataa lasiin tilkan. Miten kommentoit?
Etkö aio kaataa enempää?
Hmm... Maku on rusinainen, hieman hiivainen, selvästi kypsynyt sateisena kesänä...
--> En tykkääkään tästä, voisitko suositella jotain muuta?
Hieman liian kuivaa, mutta kelvatkoon nyt silti
Nyökkään hillitysti
Kuppi täyteen vaan!
11 / 15
Istut palaverissa ja mahasi on aivan ilmaa pullollaan. Tunnet, että pierun tuloa ei voi estää. Mitä teet?
Yritän äänetöntä versiota ja toivon, ettei kukaan haista mitään
Pieraisen rohkeasti, minulla on siihen oikeus omalla työpaikallani
--> Yritän ajoittaa röyhtäyksen samaan aikaan, kyllä pieru hukkuu sen alle
Ryntään juoksujalkaa vessaan ja sekoitan puhujan ajatukset
Pidättelen, mahan kurinaa luullaan varmaan näläksi
Pieraisen ja alan ihmetellä ääneen: ”Kuka täällä haisee?”
12 / 15
Kännykkäsi soi elokuvateatterissa kesken kaiken. Mitä teet?
Alan selostaa elokuvan juonta kovaan ääneen
--> Vastaan ja supisen, etten voi puhua
Lähden salin ulkopuolelle puhumaan ja koko rivi joutuu nousemaan tieltäni
Suljen puhelimen ja paheksun ääneen, miten joku pitää puhelintaan päällä
Suljen puhelimen ja häpeän niin paljon, etten ota kännykkää enää koskaan mukaani minnekään
13 / 15
Olet lähdössä juhliin mustassa puvussa, mutta sukkalaatikon pohjalla häämöttävät vain valkoiset tennissukat. Mitä teet?
Puristan sukkamehut likaisista mustista sukistani, en panisi valkoisia sukkia mistään hinnasta
En laita sukkia ollenkaan
--> Laitan valkoiset sukat, kyllä tarpeeksi pitkät lahkeeni peittävät ne
Tennissukat ovat niin klassikko, että pukeudun niihin ja uskon muiden ymmärtävän ironian
Väritän nilkkani tussilla mustiksi
14 / 15
Seisot esiintymislavalla ja housusi tuntuvat kiristävän haaroista. Mitä teet?
Oikaisen genitaalit parempaan asentoon
--> Aloitan puheen välittämättä hiertävistä housuista
Kätken housujen oikomisen pieneen steppi-improvisaatioon
Kaivan nenääni samaan aikaan kiinnittääkseni huomion pois haarovälini kaivelemisesta
Hivuttaudun pylvään taakse oikaisemaan housut
15 / 15
Mitä nyt sanotaan?
--> Kiitos!
Ole hyvä!
Eipä kestä!
EVVK
Kiitos käynnistä!
Hölökynkölökyn!
Testaa, osaatko lopettaa
Käyttäydyt perinteisesti mutta tahdittomasti
Haluat kunnioittaa muita ihmisiä ja käyttäydyt useimmiten perinteisiä kaavoja noudattaen. Aina tämä ei kuitenkaan ole vain hyvä asia, vaan tietynasteinen vanhanaikaisuus saa sinut käyttäytymään toisinaan suomalaisen jäyhästi ja ehkä estää sinua oppimasta uusia tapoja.
Tilannetaju on kuitenkin sinulle vieras käsite. Reippaat otteet ja ronski elämänasenteesi saavat kanssaihmiset välillä varpailleen. Se mikä naurattaa kaveriporukan saunaillassa, ei välttämättä toimi juhlapöydässä.
Testin tekijöistä kaltaisiasi on alle 1 prosentti.
Aika hyvin osuu kohdalle kai lol
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