Taoism: Shit happens
Hinduism: This shit happend before
Islam: If shit happens, take a hostage
Buddhism: When shit happens it it really shit?
7th Day Adventist: Shit happens on Saturday
Protestantism: Shit wont happen if i work harder
Catholicism: If shit happens, i deserve it
Jehovah's Witness: Knock, knock, "Shit happens"
Judaism: Why does shit always happen to me?
Hare Krishna: Shit happens rama rama ding dong
Atheism: No shit
T.V. Evangelism: Send more shit
Rastafarianism: Lets smoke this shit