IRC-Galleria

"40 year old tittie, yo mans tittie;
20 year old tittie, community tittie"

"The whole country is fucked up, we so desperate for entertainment, everybodys falling for this magician David Blain, what the fuck is this shit, are we so desperate that we fall for a trickless magician?! Where the fucks the trick?! Cut a lady in half, pull a rabbit out a hat, do something! Whats his last trick? I'm in a box, and I aint gon eat. I'm in a box, and I aint gon eat. That aint no trick, thats called living in the projects."

"Some of you brothers can really relate to this, its difficult, living with some women, cause they start telling shit about their old boyfriends: 'My last boyfriend, when he lived here, he paid the rent, the telephone bill, the car note, got us some food, and gave me some money to go out shopping' I said: 'Shit! we need to get his ass back here' "

(Ruben kirjotti tän ite!)

"Now when I talk about slavery, Im just talking about a period of time, when black people had no rights. So you talk about the 1600s to about 1964. You know give or take a year depending on when your mind decided to act right. Now people go: "Now what happened during slavory, that can affect us today? What happened during slavory, that can affect us today?" A lot of shit happened during slavery, that affects us every day. For instance during slavory, they used to take the biggest, strongest slaves and breed them, and try their best to make strong superslaves. Okay, thats right, now theres evidence of that today like the NFL for instance, so NFL stands for Nigga Fucking Large. They bred the slaves. Now this is why black people dominate every physical activity. In the United States of America okay. Were only 10% of the population, were 90% of the final four, okay! We fucking dominate all this shit, okay. Basketball, baseball, football, boxing, track, even golf and tennis. And as soon as they make a heated hockey ring, we gon take that shit too! Motherfuck Wayne Gretzky! Wait till you see LeBron on some skates. You ain't seen shit yet! He just gon have one skate chillin' "Whats up?" He aint even got a stick! He gon smack the puck with his dick! "Slapshot biatch!!"

"I know what it is man. White people don't trust black people. Thats why they won't vote for no black president. Like a black brother gon fuck up the white house. Like the grass won't be cut, dishes flyin', cars jus runnin' through white house, cookout, basketball roll in the back, broken down cars, all kinds of shit in the driveway, brother won't clear out the tub when he get out of there, brother get pissed off cause somebody drunk all the kool-aid. Ain't no black president hes to proud he won't have no bodyguard, a black president he gon have a gun. Somebody try to fuck him up hefuck them "Heey nigga!" like "daamm the president just fucked somebody up!" "

Sampson - "Well well, if it isn't mr. niceguy. Welcome to my lair. Well now, tell me a little bit about yourself."
Thurgood - "Well you know I be from Jamaica man. Not a mercy."
Sampson - "What part of Jamaica."
Thurgood - "Right near the beach."
Sampson - "I think your bullshitting me."
Thurgood - "Sampson Simpson! I stick by my story! Im from Jamaica! If I wasn't Jamaican, then why would I wear this hat?"

"But yo!, Don't let Kobe, don't let all these celebrity news fool you. Right now, all stuff going on in the news, it's just a trick, to get your mind off the war. Thats all it is, it's a trick, to get your mind off the war. I think Bush, sent that girl to Kobes home, Bush sent that girl to Kobes room, Bush sent that little boy to Michael Jacksons house, Bush killed Lacy Peterson, Bush was fucking Paris Hilton in that video. All to get your mind off the war."

1, 2, 3 until the 4 Snoop Doggy Dogg taking condoms out the drawer

"No hot mama I don't wanna dance;
I wanna know how you got that escalade in your pants;
I mean that ass aint human you might be a Marsian;
you need a tattoo on your thie to say proceed with causion;
Now I know that Im a comic but this aint a joke;
with a body like that bitch you should never be broke;
for every nigga that talk to you you should charge them a fee;
and then give fifty percent of that money to me;
and for that small percentage you know what Ill do;
Ill help turn that you;
into a brand new you;
I mean a brand new do;
some brand new shoes;
I mean a brand new you;
and some brand new jewels."

"The scores two hundred;
We're all tied neck and neck;
And it's my turn to address Alex Trebek;
I close my eyes and I thank the lord;
Finally my category is on the board;
I'll take 'Fucked up things white people did' for 1000 Alex;
A bell went off, This could mean trouble;
Todays answer my friends is a daily double;
I took a deep breath, I held myself steady;
And Alex Trebek was like 'Dave are you ready?';
I hit the buzzer, 'What is yes!';
And Alex said 'I didn't ask you the question yet';
How much money are you willing to bet?;
I smiled with confidence, my hand on my balls;
I said Alex I'm willing to bet it all;
And Alex said 'OK here's the question';
'They stole these peoples land, as they gave them syfilis';
'Whose everybody thats not white!';
Alex looked at the card dissappointed, 'Oh my god his right' "