IRC-Galleria

OSAATKO VASTATA?

Nainen: Hei Rakas
Mies: No vihdoinkin, olen
odottanut jo niin kauan !
Nainen: Haluatko että
lähden ?
Mies: EN ! Mistä nyt
tuollaista sait päähäsi ?
Jo pelkkä ajatuskin
kauhistuttaa !
Nainen: Rakastatko minua ?
Mies: Tietenkin, kaikkina
vuorokaudenaikoina !
Nainen: Oletko pettänyt
minua koskaan ?
Mies: En ikinä ! Miksi
kysyt tuollaista
Nainen: Haluaisitko
suudella minua ?
Mies: Kyllä, aina kun
minulla on tilaisuus
siihen !
Nainen: Löisitkö minua
koskaan ?
Mies: Oletko hullu ?
Tunnethan sinä minut !
Nainen: Voinko luottaa
sinuun ?
Mies: Kyllä, kulta..
Nainen: Rakas..

ja sitten 7 vuotta häiden
jälkeen:

Lue teksti alhaalta
ylöspäin !

Saunoittajan lempiasiakas on vastapäinen mies.

Kaljan juontikilpailussa otettiin pitkästä aikaa.

Mies ajoi autonsa katolleen ja joutui korjauttamaan katon sekä
savupiipun.

Naamiaisissa haarniskapukuinen mies oli koko ajan pelti kiinni.

Vihanneskauppiaan hintalappu meni väärään kurkkuun.

Miksi Jumala loi naisen? Olut ei osaa kokata

Miksi naiset panostavat enemmän ulkonäköönsä kuin älyynsä?
Koska miehet ovat pääsääntöisesti tyhmiä muttei sokeita.

Miksei Meksikolla ole olympiajoukkuetta? Kaikki juoksu-, hyppy- ja uimataitoiset ovat jo USA:n puolella.

Miksi kaikki narkkarit menevät lukioon?
-Siellä saa vapaasti valita aineet.

Heräisit siihen, että Ville Valo ryntää laulaen huoneeseesi?
[ ] Jumalauta oisin saanu nukkuu viel kaks tuntii!!
[ ] Uuuuhh Villleeee nimmari<3
[x] Joo mitä sä tääl teet?
[ ] LOL mis mun kamera on ?!

Koulussa rehtori ilmoittaisi, että maailmanloppuun on tunti aikaa?
[ ] JESSSS ei oo uintii liikunnas!!
[ ] NOUUU en ehi saada tietää mun matikan koenumeroo!
[x] varmaa...
[x] Milläköhän kamal menee noin sekasin?

Tupakan valmistaminen lopetettaisiin?
[ ] *Hyppää junan alle*
[x] no siinä meni taas 3000 työpaikkaa
[ ] Kaipa se oliki aika lopetella...
[ ] HAHAHA mullon viel aski jäljellä !

Huomaisit olevasi raskaana?
[x] Jaa kuis tää on mahdollista?
[ ] Vittu mä läskiinnyn...
[ ] Lähen kauppaan ostamaan sille vaatteita!!
[ ] Äiti tappaa mut!!

Äiti sanoisi, että on löytänyt itselleen miehen!
[x] Minne sä vanhan laitoit?
[ ] Jess onks se rikas?
[ ] Joo näinki sen ku se makas alasti meidän keittiön lattialla...
[x] Jännää.

...Mutta mies on eskimo!!
[ ] Jumalauta saan eskimosisaren!
[x] Ei kai me muuteta sen igluun?
[x] Osaaks se puhua suomea?
[ ] Eli se ei taida olla rikas... :((

Isäsi sanoo tekevänsä itsemurhan huomenna?
[ ] Juuuu semmosta sattuu
[ ] ÄLÄLÄLÄLÄÄ ÄLÄÄÄ ISKÄÄÄÄÄ !!!
[ ] Mitä mä teen !? Tuun sun mukaas!!!!
[x] Testamenttaathan sä kaiken mulle etkä isosiskolle?!

Yllätät veljesi nussimassa toista jätkää olohuoneen sohvalla?
[ ] MITÄ VITTUA?!
[x] Pitää ostaa uus sohva
[x] voi reps
[ ] Ahaa, arvasin!
[ ] KAMERA!

Viikonloput poistettaisiin?
[x] paska niit olis pitäny pidentää!!
[ ] Juu en mene
[ ] JESS saan opiskella enemmän!
[ ] Olisko sitten enemmän kesälomaa ?

tyttökaverisi sanoisi, että lähtee etsimään itseään Afrikasta?
[ ] Juu että moro
[ ] Et ole menossa minnekkään!!
[ ] OON AINA HALUNNU AFRIKKAAN tuun messiin!!
[x] hyvä läppä, mäki lähen venukseen ettimään itteeni

Viikon kuluttua hän palaakin takaisin!
[ ] Kuis sä nytten jo tulit ?!
[ ] Sori löysin jo toisen<3
[x] Löysitkös ittes?
[ ] Oliks siel mäkkärii?

Mutta hän kertoo, että unohti ottaa kännykkänsä mukaan. Hän lähtee takaisin.
[x] Onks Afrikassa kenttää?
[x] Järkee tulla täältä hakemaan kännykkää ?!
[ ] NYT et kyllä enää ikinä lähde minnekään !
[ ] Joo hyvästi terve

Tämä paska loppui tähän?
[x] Miks kysymysmerkki perään?
[ ] Hyvä!!
[ ] EIIIIIIII!!!!!
[x] Harmi..

Huomaat Jammun juoksevan muna pystyssä luoksesi.
[x] Ei vittu.. -.-'
[ ] <333 (jooläppä!)] TUU TÄNNE PUPPELI!!!!<3333
[ ] Mä niiiin tiesin, et Jammu tekee comebackin !
[ ] Right?


Joulupukki herättää sut yöllä.
[x] vitun homo, sulla ei oo enää mitää asiaa tulla meiän savupiipust.
[ ] TOIX LAHJOI? :----)
[ ] mä tiesin ettet unohtas mua<3333
[x] Ei pukkii oo olemas tyhmä.


Kuvasi olisi päivänkuvana.
[x] SALEE MUOKATTU!!!!!
[ ] nyyhkis, poistan kuvat galtsust. :'(
[ ] fuck you, im famous<3
[ ] lol joku salaliitto.


Saisit tietää olevasi allerginen tietokoneelle.
[x] SINNE MENI MUN ELÄMÄ !!!!!!!
[x] ihan sama, käytän allergialääkkeit.
[ ] Isi, vie mut vierotushoitoon.
[ ] Ihan turha koko kapistus.


Kaverisi olisi syönyt koirasi.
[ ] OKSENNA SE TAKASIN IDIOOTTI. >:(
[ ] nyyh musti koira, rest in peace !
[x] Et muistanu nielasta kaulapantaa, se roikkuu viel ulkona.
[ ] Minkä koiran?


Teletapit tallustelevat kadulla luoksesi:
[ ] LOL jotkut tapit!!!
[ ] Haista v*ttu!
[x] IISOO HALIII
[ ] ok?
[ ] Meen antaan niille turpaan!!!!!


Veljesi pöllii päiväkirjasi, joka on täynnä merkintöjä salaisesta ihastuksestasi:
[ ] Velikultsi mitä oot mieltä siitä naisesta? <3
[ ] IIK ethän kerro kellekkään!!!??? Saat satasen jos et kerro! YHYY ÄLÄ TEE TÄTÄ MULLE!!!
[x] Anna se tänne homoooo!
[ ] Aha evvk.


Karkkikaupassa komea myyjä nuolee tikkaria katsellen sinua vihjailevasti:
[ ] Ööhh, hihiihihhihihiihihihihiihiihhkkhhkhhikhhihhihhihiiiiiiiiii!!
[x] no iu en ostakkaa mtn.
[ ] NOH MINNES MENNÄÄN BEIBI?
[x] Mitä möllötät apina??!


Poliisi kävelee luoksesi ja alkaa kirjoittamaan sinulle sakkolappua siitä, että sylkäisit juuri purkan maahan:
[x] No paljos saan sakkoo?
[ ] Grr! VOINX MAXAA LUONNOSS??
[ ]Haista mursu!
[ ]Muahhahhahaa! *repii sakkolapun silpuksi katsellen kyttää mielipuolisella ilmeellä*


Kamusi kilpikonnalle diagnosoidaan kilpirauhassyöpä:
[ ] Voi pikkuista! Rest in piis!
[x] LÖL joq kölpäkinna!
[ ] Kuolen Killen puolesta, paipai!
[x] No voivoi!


Naapurin katti rupeaa köllöttelemään jalkojesi juureen ja laskee alleen:
[x ] Voi kisua, sehän oli vaan vahinko!
[ ] HYI GU LEMUU!
[ ]EN ENÄÄ KOSKAAN HALUU NÄHÄ SUA SENKI LIKANEN, LIKANEN, LIKANEN RONTTI!
[ ] Pitäs varmaan mennä pesee nää jalat.. ja kengät..


Olet yksin kotona, kun alat kuulla kamalaa jyskettä:
[x] Naapurit ne vaan jyskyttää.
[x] Mikähän toi ääni on?
[ ] Iik mä taidan kuolla!
[x] Liikkuuko mun korvassa junia?


Siirryt katsomaan ikkunasta ulos ja tajuat, että jyskyttäjä olikin maamyyrä:
[x]myyrämyyrämyyrämyyrämyyrää
[x] No johan lähti kova ääni!
[ ]Onko sulla siellä joku kaverinas???
[ ] no onpa outoo, ei niinku kiinnosta !


On lämmin päivä ja menet rannalle innoissasi ottamaan aurinkoa. Yhtäkkiä alkaa sataa kaatamalla suuria rakeita:
[ ] Voi ei, en ehi ruskettuu tarpeex!
[x] Ei voi olla totta, just kun ajattelin et ihanan lämmintä.
[ ] EI KAI OO MAHOLLISTA ET NÄISTÄ RAKEISTA JÄÄ JOTAIN JÄLKIÄ IHOON???
[ ] tittidittitididididiiititititiii *tanssii innoissaan rakeitten seassa*


Olet sopinut meneväsi ystäväsi kanssa elokuviin, mutta frendisi soittaa viime tipassa, että hänen on jäätävä kotiin hoitamaan pikkusiskoaan:
[ ] No just joo, meijän ystävyys on ohi!
[ ] Oisit voinu vähä aiemmin ilmottaa.. Onpa kiva..
[ ] Ei kai auta kun lähtee yksin.
[x] Juu ei se haittaa! :)


Saat puhelinsoiton, jossa tuntematon henkilö kertoo, että kuolet tunnin päästä:
[x] Hehheheheheheh luuletko et uskon??!!?!?
[x] Lol, tätä päivää mä oonki ootttanu!
[ ] Halataan iskä!
[ ] EEEEEEEIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :'(((
[x] :)

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.: Ota lähin kirja ja katso siitä sivu 18, rivi neljä. Kirjoita mitä siinä lukee:
-ei oo kirjaa lähettyvillä

2: Ojenna vasen kätesi niin pitkälle kuin pystyt. Mitä kosketat ensimmäisenä?:
- ikkunaa

3: Mitä katsoit viimeksi TV:stä?:
- uutiset :)

4: Arvaa ilman kelloon katsomista paljonko kello on:
- öö varmaan neljä

5.: Katso kelloosi - mitä se näyttää?:
- 16:24

6: Mitä muuta kuin tietokoneen kuulet nyt?:
- musiikkia

7: Milloin viimeksi kävit ulkona ja mitä teit siellä?:
- tulin koulusta

8: Missä nettisivulla kävit ennen IRC-Galleriaa?:
- iltasanomat

9: Millaiset vaatteet sinulla on ylläsi?:
- farkut ja t-paita

10: Näitkö viime yönä unta? Millaista?:
- en muista

11: Mille nauroit viimeksi?:
- ööö en tiedä on tullu naurettua tänään niin paljon :D

12: Mitä huoneesi seinillä on?:
- tapettia ja maalia

13: Oletko nähnyt mitään outoa viime aikoina?:
- olenhan minä

14: Mitä ajattelet tästä kyselystä?:
- kuka ihme on keksinyt kysymykset?

15: Minkä elokuvan näit viimeksi?:
- Armageddon

16: Jos tulisit multimiljonääriksi, mitä ostaisit?:
- varmaan pullon ed:tä ja pussin airwavesia

17: Kerro itsestäsi jotain sellaista, mitä muut eivät tiedä?:
- mutta sittenhän ne tietäis..

18: Jos voisit vaihtaa maailmassa yhden asian, huolimatta syyllisyydestä tai politiikasta,minkä vaihtaisit?
- en mitään

19: Pidätkö tanssimisesta?:
- no en

20: Minkä nimen antaisit ensimmäiselle tyttärellesi?:
- no ei ole ihan vielä ajankohtainen

21: Entä ensimmäiselle pojallesi?:
- Kaapo, oon neli vuotias, oppimaan innokas..

22: Voisitko koskaan harkita ulkomailla asumista?:
- millä kielitaidolla?

23: Minkä kirjan luit viimeksi?:
- jermut-jatkosodassa

24: Kuinka monta huonetta kodissasi on?:
- öö 10-12 riippuu miten lasketaan

27: Mikä uutinen on viime aikoina mietityttänyt sinua?:
- että meillä on huomenna ue:n koe

28: Mitä näet katsoessasi ulos ikkunasta?:
- metsää

29: Mitä sinulle tulee mieleen sanasta punainen?:
- tupa ja perunamaa

30: Mitä aiot tehdä tänään?:
- jaa'a

Vastaa seuraaviin kysymyksiin miettimättä.
Osallistut kävelykilpailuun ja menet kävelijän, joka kävelee toisena, ohitse. Monesko olet?

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Jos vastasit olevasi ensimmäinen, olet väärässä. Otit toisen paikan, joten olet siis toinen.

Kokeile vastata toiseen kysymykseen nopeammin! Jos ohitat viimeisen kävelijän, monesko olet sitten?


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Jos sanoit toiseksi viimeinen, olet taas väärässä. Ajattele hetki - kuinka voit ohittaa viimeisen? Jos olet hänen jäljessään, hän ei voi olla viimeinen. Oikea vastaus on: mahdotonta.

Joku voisi sanoa, ettet ole erikoistunut ajattelemiseen. Olisit hyvä heikoin lenkki!

Vielä yksi yritys. Älä kirjoita mitään ylös ja laske päässä. Vastaa nopeasti.

Ota 1000.
Lisää siihen 40.
Lisää vielä 1000.
Lisää 30.
Vielä 1000.
Plus 20.
Plus 1000.
Ja plus 10.

Mikä on tulos?


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Jos sait 5000 olet väärässä. Oikea vastaus on 4100. Laske vaikka koneella ja katso. Ilmeisesti sinulla ei ole hyvä päivä! Viimeisen pitäisi mennä paremmin - se on helppo!

Marikan isällä on 5 tytärtä:


Chacha
Cheche
Chichi
Chocho
???
Kysymys: Mikä on viidennen tyttären nimi? Mieti nopeasti!

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Chuchu? Väärin. Marika! Eikö niin...?

Kuusi elämän faktaa!

1) Et voi koskettaa jokaista hammastasi kielelläsi.

2) Kaikki tyhmät, luettuaan edellisen faktan, yrittävät sitä.

3) Ensimmäinen fakta on vale.

4) Hymyilet nyt koska olet idiootti.

5) Näytät seuraavaksi tämän jollekkin toiselle idiootille.

6) Naamassasi on edelleen idioottimainen virne.

Sinä joka luit tämän, jos et kopioi tätä omaan päiväkirjaasi niin kuolet ensi viikon torstaina 20:06.

Löydätkö C -kirjaimen ?


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OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Kun löysit C:n...

Etsi 6:nen!

9999999999999999999999999999999999
9999999999999999999999999999999999
9999999999999999999999999999999999
9999999999999999999999999999999999
9999999999999999999999999999999999
9999999999999999999999999999999999
9999699999999999999999999999999999
9999999999999999999999999999999999
9999999999999999999999999999999999
9999999999999999999999999999999999
9999999999999999999999999999999999
9999999999999999999999999999999999

Kun löysit 6:sen...

Etsi N -kirjain! [Jo vähän vaikeampaa!]

MMMMMMMMMMMMM
MMMMMMMMMMMMM
MMMMMMMMMMMMM
MMMMMMMNMMMMM
MMMMMMMMMMMMM
MMMMMMMMMMMMM
MMMMMMMMMMMMM
MMMMMMMMMMMMM
MMMMMMMMMMMMM
MMMMMMMMMMMMM

Kun löysit N -kirjaimen...

Etsi Y -kirjain!

TTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT
TTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT
TTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT
TTTTYTTTTTTTTTTTT
TTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT
TTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT

Kun löysit Y- kirjaimen...

Etsi W- kirjain!

VVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVV
VVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVV
VVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVV
VVVVVVVVVVVVVVVWVVVVVVVVVV
VVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVV
VVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVV

Kun löydät W- kirjaimen niin toivo jotain.
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Nyt kun olet toivonut jotain, toive toteutuu kunhan kopioit tämän omaasi päiväkirjaasi