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If karma doesn't hit you, I fucking will

Lauantai 27.11.2010 14:45

Chapter One: How to be an anti-social dick.


Your First Lesson:

When it comes to some people, you can't always ignore and endure like you can with Third Floor Office Guy. That's fine, because over time I have become very good at pretending to listen. It's not just nods and smiles. It's the ever so often interjection that is key. For example:

"That's convenient."

"How strange!"

"Interesting."

"Oh, yes. That can happen."

"What a shame!"

The brilliance is in the effectiveness of how you interchange these various phrases to really pull it off. If you are successful no one will ever figure it out. However, most people, after walking away from this conversation with me, will take a few minutes to wonder just how interested I was in what they had to say. That's why it's important to leave very quickly afterward to avoid any further contact.

You must work very hard to be an anti-social dick and it's an ongoing process of long hours and a life of working on each detail to make sure to seclude yourself from people who just won't stop talking, or in my case, everyone in general. It's not something you can accomplish half-assed.

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