IRC-Galleria

Ei ole vaikeaa tehdä
naista
onnelliseksi...
Tarvitsee vain olla:
1. ystävä
2. kumppani
3. rakastaja
4. veli
5. isä
6. opettaja
7. kasvattaja
8. rippi-isä
9. uskottu
10. kokki
11. mekaanikko
12. asentaja
13. sähkömies
14. kuljettaja
15. kantaja
16. siivooja
17. hovimestari
18. hydraulikko
19. puuseppä
20. malli
21. sisustusarkkitehti
22. seksologi
23. psykologi
24. psykiatri
25. psykoterapeutti
Myös luonteenpiirteet ovat
tärkeitä. Tarvitsee vain
olla:
1. miellyttävä
2. urheilullinen mutta
3. älykäs
4. voimakas
5. hyvätapainen
6. luja
7. lempeä
8. herkkä
9. päättäväinen
10. romanttinen
11. miehekäs
12. vitsikäs
13. iloinen
14. vakavasti otettava
15. arvokas
16. rohkea
17. nallekarhu
18. energinen
19. huolehtiva
20. luova
21. idearikas
22. taitava mutta
23. vaatimaton ja
24. ymmärtäväinen
25. elegantti mutta
26. johdonmukainen
27. lämmin mutta
28. viileä mutta
29. intohimoinen
30. suvaitsevainen mutta
31. periaatteellinen mutta
32. kunniallinen ja
33. jalo mutta
34. käytännöllinen ja
35. pragmaattinen
36. oikeudenmukainen mutta
37. valmis tekemään hänen
vuokseen mitä tahansa
(esim. pankkiryöstön) eli
38. epätoivoinen
(rakkaudesta) mutta
39. hillitty
40. charmikas mutta
41. pysyvä ja
42. uskollinen
43. valpas mutta
44. haaveileva mutta
45. kunnianhimoinen
46. luotettava ja
47. kunnioitettava
48. valmis uhrauksiin
49. maksukykyinen.
Samaan aikaan miehen on
kiinnitettävä huomiota
siihen, että hän:
a) ei olisi
mustasukkainen,
mutta kuitenkin
kiinnostunut.
b) tulisi hyvin toimeen
sukunsa kanssa, muttei
kuitenkaan uhraisi sille
enempää aikaansa kuin ko.
naiselle.
c) antaisi naiselle
vapautta, mutta osoittaisi
kuitenkin huolenpitoa ja
olisi kiinnostunut siitä,
missä nainen on ollut ja
mitä tehnyt.
d) pukeutuisi elegantisti,
mutta olisi kuitenkin
valmis kantamaan naista
polvillaan kurassa ja
menemään parvekkeen kautta
sisään, jos hän on
unohtanut avaimensa, tai
ottamaan kiinni ja
mukiloimaan varkaan, joka
on ottanut hänen
laukkunsa,
jossa oli niinkin elämälle
välttämättömiä asioita
kuin
peili ja huulirasva.
On tärkeää olla
unohtamatta
hänen:
1. syntymäpäiviään
2. nimipäiviään
3. hääpäivää
4. ensimmäisen suudelmanne
vuosipäivää
5. kuukautisiaan
6. hammaslääkäriaikaansa
7. vuosipäiviään
8. parhaan ystävänsä ja
lempitätinsä
syntymäpäiviä.
Valitettavasti
täydellisinkään edellä
mainittujen ohjeiden
noudattaminen ei takaa
menestystä. Nainen saattaa
nimittäin väsyä
ihanteellisen miehen
läsnäoloon elämässään ja
kokea olevansa hänen
dominoimansa ja siksi
karata ensimmäisen
kohtaamansa
kitaransoittajan kanssa.
Ja mitalin toinen puoli.
Miehen tekeminen
onnelliseksi on
huomattavasti vaikeampaa.
Se johtuu siitä, että mies
tarvitsee:
1. seksiä ja
2. ruokaa
Pääosa naisista kokee nämä
miesten korkealentoiset
vaatimukset äärimmäisen
orjuuttaviksi. Niiden
tyydyttäminen käy yli
ymmärryksen

Jos saat yli 45, olet huonoa seuraa.
Jos saat alle 15, on mahdollisuus että olet elänyt elämäsi tähän asti kiven alla vailla elämää ja kontaktia muihin ihmisiin.. vielä pahempaa.

Säännöt
* Plussaa yhteen kaikki tekemäsi asiat.
* Ei ole pakko kertoa mitä olet tehnyt.
* Jos ihmiset haluavat tietää, kysykööt.

Oletko koskaan..

1. Polttanut tupakkaa
2. Juonut alkoholia
3. Nukkunut samassa sängyssä vastakkaista sukupuolta olevan kanssa
4. Nukkunut samassa sängyssä samaa sukupuolta olevan kanssa
5. Suudellut samaa sukupuolta olevaa
6. Harrastanut seksiä
7. Ollut huoneessasi jonkun muun kuin perheenjäsenesi kanssa
8. Katsonut pornoa
9. Ostanut pornoa
10. Tehnyt huumeita
YHTEENSÄ: 8

1. Ottanut särkylääkkeitä
2. Ottanut jonkun muun reseptilääkkeitä
3. Valehdellut vanhemmillesi
4. Valehdellut ystävällesi
5. Livahtanut salaa ulos kotoa
6. Tehnyt jotain laitonta
7. Viillellyt itseäsi
8. Satuttanut toista tahallisesti
9. Toivonut jonkun kuolevan
10. Nähnyt jonkun kuolevan
TOTAL: 8

1. Harrastanut kimppaseksiä
2. Ollut ulkona koko yön
3. Syönyt paketillisen jäätelöä yksin
4. Ollut terapeutilla
5. Ollut katkaisuhoidossa
6. Värjännyt hiuksesi
7. Kielisuudellut
8. Ollut auto-onnettomuudessa
9. Ollut yökerhossa
10. Ollut baarissa
TOTAL: 6

1. Ollut villeissä bileissä
2. Ollut strippiklubilla
3. Juonut enemmän kuin kolme kaljaa yhtenä yönä
4. Ollut kesälomalla Floridassa
5. Nuuskinut kaikkea
6. Käyttänyt mustaa kynsilakkaa
7. Käyttänyt käsirautoja
8. Käyttänyt bändipaitoja
9. Kuunnellut räppiä
10. Omistanut 50 Centin CD:n
TOTAL: 5

1. Pukeutunut gootiksi/goottimaisesti
2. Pukeutunut pissikseksi/pissismäisesti
3. Pukeutunut punkkariksi/punkkarimaisesti
4. Ollut ulkona alasti päivällä
5. Varastanut jotain
6. Ollut liian kännissä muistaaksesi mitään
7. Sammunut
8. Pyörtynyt
9. Ihastunut naapuriin
10. Huomannut jonkun livahtavan salaa huoneeseesi
TOTAL: 3

1. Livahtanut salaa jonkun muun huoneeseen
2. Ihastunut parhaaseen ystävääsi
3. Ihastunut parhaan ystäväsi poika/tyttöystävään
4. Ollut konsertissa
5. Ollut kutsuttuna huoraksi/lutkaksi
6. Kutsunut jotain huoraksi/lutkaksi
7. Omistanut auton
8. Rikkonut ikkunan
9. Käynyt suihkussa vastakkaista sukupuolta olevan talossa
10. Harjannut hampaasi jonkun muun hammasharjalla
TOTAL: 8

1. Sanonut Tupacin olevan lempiräppärisi
2. Nähnyt K-15 elokuvan
3. Nähnyt K-18 elokuvan
4. Lintsannut koulusta
5. Ollut leikkauksessa
6. Haavoittunut vakavasti
7. Joutunut oikeuteen
8. Livahtanut ulos ravintolasta maksamatta
9. Sammuttanut ison tulipalon
10. Valehdellut ikäsi
TOTAL: 4

1. Omistanut/vuokrannut asunnon
2. Rikkonut lakia poliisin läsnäollessa
3. Pettänyt poika/tyttöystävääsi
4. Joutunut ongelmiin poliisien kanssa
5. Jutellut vieraan kanssa
6. Halannut vierasta
7. Suudellut vierasta
8. Ollut vieraan autossa
9. Ollut ahdisteltuna
10. Ollut sanallisesti ahdisteltuna
TOTAL: 8

1. Tavannut jonkun jonka tapasit netissä
2. Ollut tietokoneella 12 tuntia putkeen
3. Puhunut puhelimessa 4 tuntia putkeen
4. Katsonut telkkaria 12 tuntia putkeen
5. Suudellut parhaan ystäväsi poika/tyttöystävää
6. Ollut kutsuttuna huonoksi seuraksi
7. Ajanut kännissä
8. Haukkunut jotain
9. Maannut sohvalla vastakkaisen sukupuolen kanssa
10. Luntannut kokeessa
TOTAL: 7

Total: 57

01 [ ] Olet meinannut tukehtua veteen.
02 [x] Olet kompastunut alas portaita.
03 [ ] Olet kävellyt päin ovea.
04 [x] Olet työntänyt ovea väärään suuntaan.
05 [ ] Olet kävellyt seinää päin.
06 [x] Olet kaatunut kävellessäsi portaita ylös.
07 [x] Olet hypännyt jostakin pois.
08 [ ] Olet ollut shokissa.
09 [ ] Olet laittanut metallia/alumiinia mikroon.
10 [ ] Olet joskus mainosten jälkeen unohtanut mitä ohjelmaa olit katsonut ennen mainoksia.
11 [x] Olet unohtanut mitä toinen on sanonut.
12 [ ] Perheesi/kaverisi kutsuvat sinua blondiksi.
13 [x] Et aina ymmärrä vitsejä tai sinulla kestää pitkään ymmärtää ne.
14 [ ] Olet vuotanut verta etkä ole itse huomannut asiaa.
15 [x] Olet pitänyt jotakin vaatetta koko päivän väärinpäin etkä ole huomannut asiaa.
16 [ ] Olet työntänyt veitsen paahtimeen.
17 [x] Olet leikkinyt tulella.
18 [ ] Olet jättänyt uuniin ruoan ja sait sen palamaan sillä unohdit että ruoka on uunissa.
19 [ ] Olet astunut hiustensuoristimen taikka kihartimen päälle sen ollessa päällä.
20 [ ] Sinun piti käyttää laskinta, taikka sormiasi laskiessasi alla olevaa vastausta

Kerro viidellä rastit ja saat tietää kuinka tyhmä olet prosentteina.

[1] Anna
[2] Antti
[3] Anu
[4] Arttu
[5] Atte
[6] Birgit
[ ] Eila
[ ] Enya
[ ] Erkki
[7] Essi
[ ] Evita
[8] Hanna
[ ] Hanne
[9] Heidi
[ ] Heikki
[ ] Helena
[10] Heli
[11] Iida
[12] Jaakko
[13] Jaana
[14] Janne
[15] Jani
[16] Jenna
[17] Jenni
[ ] Janette
[18] Janita
[19] Janna
[20] Jere
[21] Jesse
[22] Johanna
[23] Joonas
[24] Juuso
[25] Juho
[ ] Kaisla
[26] Kaisa
[ ] Kari
[27] karri
[28] Kati
[ ] Kiia
[29] Laura
[30] Leila
[31] Lotta
[32] Maria
[33] Markku
[34] Marko
[ ] Meri
[35] Mia
[36] Miia
[37] Mika
[38]Mira
[ ] Niki
[ ] Ninni
[39] Niina
[ ] Niti
[40] Nina
[ ]Nuutti
[41] Petri
[ ] Pete
[42] Pia
[ ] Piia
[43] Riikka
[44] Riina
[45] Riku
[46] Saara
[47] Sofia
[ ] Sara
[48] Sanna
[49] Sari
[50] Sini
[ ] Taina
[ ] Taru
[ ] Terhi
[51] Tiina
[52] Timo
[53]Timppa
[54] Tomi
[55] Toni
[56] Tuomo
[57] Tuukka
[58] Uki
[ ] Vesa
[59] Viivi
[60] Ville
[61] Joni
[60] Matti
[61] Mikko
[62] Teemu
[63] Eveliina

Paljonko maksat?

Sinulla on luonnostaan hiukset jotka ovat...
[ ] kiharat (200e)
[ ] suorat (100e)
[ ] laineikkaat (50e)
[ ] korkkiruuvikiharat (15e)
[x] kalju (5e)
[ ] joku muu (75e)

Yhteensä: 5e

Silmien väri:
[ ] ruskea (50e)
[ ] vihreä (75e)
[x] sininen (50e)
[ ] tammenterhon väriset (100e)
[ ] joku muu (15e)

Yhteensä tähän saakka: 55e

Pituus:
[ ] Yli 210cm (200e)
[ ] 200-209cm (175e)
[x] 182-199cm (150e)
[ ] 165-181cm (75e)
[ ] 144-164cm (45e)
[ ] Alle 144cm (45e)

Yhteensä tähän saakka: 205e

Juotko alkoholia?
[ ] En (400e)
[ ] Vain lomilla/juhlissa (250e)
[x] Joskus (215e)
[ ] Kyllä (200e)
[ ] Vain viikonloppuisin (300e)
[ ] Joka toinen päivä (50e)
[ ] Kerran päivässä (15e)
[ ] Elän pulloni takia! (Menetit kaikki arvokkuutesi ja joudut aloittamaan 0 eurosta)

Yhteensä tähän asti: 430e

Näkö:
[] Täydellinen näkö (300e)
[x] Tarvitsen lasit/piilolinssit, mutta en käytä niitä (200e)
[ ] Likinäköinen (100e)
[ ] Lasit lukemista varten (75e)
[ ] Omistan lasit ja käytän niitä aina (50e) :(
[ ] Piilolinssit (25e)
[ ] Olen käynyt silmäleikkauksessa, näköni vuoksi (10e)

Yhteensä tähän asti: 630e

Autosi väri (tai perheesi auto):
[ ] pinkki (2000e)
[ ] tumman punainen (800e)
[ ] kulta (700e)
[x]harmaa (600e)
[ ] sininen (900e)
[ ] valkoinen (475e)
[ ] musta (450e)
[ ] punainen (400e)
[ ] vihreä (350e)
[ ] hopea (300e)
[ ] purppura (250e)
[ ] metallinen (200e)
[ ] keltainen (100e)
[ ] ruskea (20e)
[ ] ruosteinen (15e)
[ ] ei autoa (0e)

Yhteensä tähän asti: 1230e

Kengänkoko:
[ ] 48+ (300e)
[x] 46-47 (200e)
[ ] 44-45 (700e)
[ ] 38-43 (500e)
[ ] Alle 38 (550e)

Yhteensä tähän asti: 1430e

Kolme lempiväriä:
[ ] vihreä (750e)
[x] punainen (600e)
[x] musta (100e)
[ ] keltainen (475e)
[ ] sininen (300e)
[ ] ruskea (50e)
[ ] purppura (225e)
[x] valkoinen (400e)
[ ] turkoosi (350e)
[ ] oranssi (300e)
[ ] pinkki (100e)
[ ] joku muu (50e)

Yhteensä tähän asti: 2530e

Käytitkö laskuria tähän?
[ ] Kyllä (0e)
[x] En (1000e)
[ ] Joihinkin kysymyksiin (750e)

Yhteensä mä maksan: 3530e.

OIKEA NIMESI:
> Joonas

2. GANGSTA NIMESI: (ekat 2 kirjainta etunimestä plus izzle.)
> Joizzle

3.ETSIVÄNIMESI: (lempiväri ja lempieläin)
> Musta Lammas

4. SAIPPUAOOPPERANIMESI: (toinen nimesi ja tämän hetkinen sijaintipaikka)
> Kasperi Herwood.

5. STAR WARS NIMESI: (ekat 3 kirjainta sukunimestä, ekat 2 kirjainta etunimestä, ekat 3 kirjainta äidin tyttönimestä)
> Lamjoväs.

6. SUPERSANKARINIMESI: (toinen lempivärisi, lempijuoma)
> Sininen Battery

7. IRAQ-NIMESI: (1. kirjain etunimestä, 3. kirjain sukunimestä, mikä tahansa kirjain toisesta nimestä, 2. kirjain äidin tyttönimestä, 3. kirjain isän toisesta nimestä, 1. kirjain siskon/veljen nimestä, viimeinen kirjain äidin toisesta nimestä)
> Jmsähma

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auta kissaa valloittaa irc-galleria
lisäämällä tämä sinun päiväkirjaan :D

J.O.O.N.A.S.: Järjestelmällinen Orjapiiskuri joka Omii Naisellisesti, Armahtaa ja Sairastaa

A: Tykkää juomisesta
B: Tykkää ihmisistä
C: On villi ja hullu
D: Hänellä on yksi parhaimmista persoonista
E: Hyvä suutelija
F: Sinua palvotaan
J: Pitää tupakasta
G: Toiset eivät määrää sinua
H: Hyvä persoona ja vielä paremman näköne
I: Rakastaa kaikkia hauskaa
K: Todella tyhmä
L: Kaikkien rakastama
M: Tekee seurustelusta hauskaa
N: Todella seksikäs
O: Paras panemaan
P: Tulee toimeen kaikkien kanssa
Q: Tekopyhä
R: Vitun hullu
S: Helposti rakastettavissa
T: Uskollinen rakkailleen
U: Tykkää rentoutua
V: ei tuomitse
W: Erittäin avara katseinen
X: Muut eivät määrää minua
Y: Yksi parhaimmista Tyttö/poika ystävistä, mitä voi olla


J: Pitää tupakasta
O: Paras panemaan
O: Paras panemaan
N: Todella seksikäs
A: Tykkää juomisesta
S: Helposti rakastettavissa

K: Todella tyhmä
A: Tykkää juomisesta
S: Helposti rakastettavissa
P: Tulee toimeen kaikkien kanssa
E: Hyvä suutelija
R: Vitun hullu
I: Rakastaa kaikkia hauskaa