IRC-Galleria

Sanoja, joita on vaikea lausua kännissä:
a. Suuryritysrypäs
b. Kulttuuriministeriö
c. Prikaatinkenraali
d. Karnevaalikaravaani
e. Keskuskauppakamari

Sanoja, joita on hyvin vaikea lausua kännissä:
a. Spesialistipsykologi
b. Cogito ergo sum
c. Objektiviteettiperiaate
d. Konstitutionalismi
e. Porfyyrigraniittiroso
f. Transsendentaalifilosofia
g. Bronkopneumonia

Sanoja, joita on liki mahdoton sanoa kännissä:
a.. Kiitos,mutta en halua seksiä
b.. Ei enää alkoholia minulle
c.. Ikävä kyllä, et ole tyyppiäni
d.. Iltaa, konstaapeli, anteeksi aiheuttamani häiriö
e.. Ei, ei, en minä osaa laulaa
f.. Voimmeko sopia tämän rauhallisesti puhumalla

1) Et voi koskettaa jokaista hammastasi kielelläsi.

2) Kaikki tyhmät, luettuaan edellisen faktan, yrittävät sitä.

3) Ensimmäinen fakta on vale.

4) Hymyilet nyt koska olet idiootti.

5) Näytät seuraavaksi tämän jollekkin toiselle idiootille.

6) Naamassasi on edelleen idioottimainen virne

1. Valitse artisti: Finlanders
2. Vastaa ainoastaan valitsemasi artistin kappaleiden nimillä seuraaviin kysymyksiin:
3. Mies vai Nainen?: Pikku Prinsessa
4. Kuvaile itseäsi: Kortit jotka sain
5. Mitä muut ajattelevat sinusta?: Kulkukoira
6. Mitä sinä ajattelet itsestäsi?: Yksin oon
7. Missä sinä haluaisit olla?: Kauniit muistot
8. Kuvaile kuinka elät : Jano
9. Kuinka rakastat : Kylmä rakkaus
10. Mitä pyytäisit jos sinulla olisi vain yksi toive?: Anna jatkua yön
11. Jaa viisaus kanssamme : En
12. Mitä teet elääksesi?: Nään kaiken kauniin
13. Sano heihei : Jäähyväisten aika

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auta kissaa valloittamaan irc-galleria
lisäämällä tämä sinun päiväkirjaasi :D

21 hyvää syytä seurustella heppatytön kanssa!

1. He eivät koskaan nalkuta, että kotona on sotkuista, koska ovat itsekin jatkuvasti paskaisia.

2. He ovat tarpeeksi karaistuneita juodakseen maitoa suoraan tölkistä.

3. Heillä on raudanlujat rakastajan reidet ja hyvä ryhti.

4. He ovat tottuneet vauhtiin ja vaaratilanteisiin, eivätkä pelkää olla kyydissäsi.

5. He eivät koskaan valita, että meikit ovat levinneet.

6. Näet heitä jatkuvasti pelkissä tiukoissa vaatteissa.

7. He eivät käytä salaa luottokorttejasi kenkien ja mekkojen osteluun (loimet, harjat ja hevosvarusteet ovatkin sitten asia erikseen..).

8. He eivät koskaan kerkeä lihomaan muodottomiksi, joten voit aina esitellä heitä ylpeänä kavereillesi.

9. He eivät koskaan jaksa riidellä turhasta tapeltuaan koko päivän hevosten kanssa.

10. He ovat aina valmiita ratsastamaan.

11. Ovat tottuneet haastaviin tyyppeihin jalkovälissään.

12. Heillä on luja luonne, eivätkä paheksu kiroilua.

13. Tapeltuaan koko päivän hevosten kanssa, heillä ei ole mitään sitä vastaan että riepottelet heitä sängyssä.

14. Ovat söpöjä ja himokkaita.

15. Peräänanto ei ole heille tuntematon käsite, he jopa haluavat sitä.

16. Tavallinen typykkä ei tee voltteja ratsastaessaan.

17. Kelpuuttavat ratsukseen jopa pallittoman tapauksen.

18. Ratsastavat mielellään luonnon helmassa tylsän sisällä jyystämisen sijaan.

19. Eivät kammoa hikeä, karvoja, pieruja ja kuolaa.

20. He pukeutuvat säällä kuin säällä nahkasaappaisiin ja vartalonmyötäisiin housuihin.

21. Sinun ei tarvitse arastella ehdotuksissasi, sillä heidän kotinsa pursuavat jos jonkinmoista piiskaa.

Ensiksikään tietoomme ei ole tullut lentävää porolajia, joskin 300 000 eläinlajia on tässä vaiheessa tutkimatta. (Suurin osa näistä on hyönteisiä). Ei siis ole täysin mahdotonta, että Joulupukin lentävät porot ovat tosiaan olemassa.

Toiseksi maailmassa on noin kaksi miljardia lasta - siis alle 18-vuotiasta, mutta koska Joulupukin toimialueeseen eivät kuulu muslimit, hindut, juutalaiset ja buddhalaiset, Joulupukki joutuu siten kohtaamaan vain noin 15 % maailman lapsista (378 miljoonaa yksikköä).

Koska taloudessa on keskimäärin 3,5 lasta, Joulupukki joutuu vierailemaan 108 miljoonassa kodissa. Olettaen tietenkin, että jokaisessa perheessä on vähintään yksi kiltti lapsi.

967,7 VIERAILUA SEKUNNISSA
Joulupukilla on siten 31 tuntia aikaa työskennellä, ottaen huomioon eri aikavyöhykkeet sekä maapallon pyörimisliikkeen, ja olettaen, että hän matkustaa loogisesti idästä länteen. Pikaisen laskutoimituksen tuloksena huomaamme, että Joulupukille tulee 967,7 vierailua sekunnissa.

Tämä tarkoittaa sitä, että jokaisessa talossa on Joulupukilla aikaa noin 1/1000 sekuntia parkkeerata, hypätä alas reestä, jakaa lahjat, juosta takaisin rekeen ja matkustaa seuraavaan taloon.

Ottaen huomioon, että nämä 108 miljoonaa pysähdystä ovat kaikkialla ympäri maapalloa ja kahden talon välinen matka on keskimäärin noin 1,3 kilometriä, kokonaismatkaksi tulee noin 140 miljoonaa kilometriä. Tämä tarkoittaa sitä, että Joulupukin reki kulkee noin 1040 kilometrin sekuntinopeutta eli 12 500-kertaisella äänennopeudella. Vertailun vuoksi mainittakoon, että normaali poro kulkee nopeimmillaan noin 25 km/h.

REEN PAINO - RATKAISEVA TEKIJÄ
Reen paino on toinen mielenkiintoinen tutkimuskohde. Olettaen, että jokainen lapsi saa vain keskikokoisen Lego-paketin (500 g). Jo tuolloin reki painaa 189 000 000 kg, joskin useimmissa perheissä jaetaan kilokaupalla lahjoja. Lisäksi tulee ottaa huomioon Joulupukki, joka on usein kuvattu reilusti ylipainoiseksi.

Tiedetään, että normaali poro pystyy vetämään korkeintaan noin 140 kilon taakkaa. Vaikka olettaisimme, että lentävä poro voisi vetää kymmenkertaisen määrän verrattuna normaaliin poroon, reen vetämiseen ei riitä kahdeksan eikä edes yhdeksän poroa.

Tarvitaan 135 000 poroa. Tämä nostaa massan, ottamatta huomioon kelkan painoa, 210 miljoonaan kiloon.

210 miljoonaa kiloa, kiitäen 1040 km sekunnissa, saa aikaan mahtavan ilmanvastuksen. Ilmanvastus saa porot lämpiämään samaan tapaan kuin avaruusaluksen, kun se palaa maan ilmakehään. Porojen etummainen pari kuluttaa energiaa 14,3 kvantimiljoonaa joulea sekunnissa per poro. Lyhyessä ajassa porot syttyvät liekkeihin, saaden aikaan ketjureaktion, joka johtaa kaikkien porojen räjähtämiseen.

POROT MUUTTUVAT HÖYRYKSI
Koko suurtokka höyrystyy 1/4260 sekunnissa. Joulupukki kohtaa samalla 17 500-kertaisen painovoiman. Näin 120 kiloinen Joulupukki painautuu reen takaosaan 1 959 016 kilon voimalla muuttuen mössöksi.

Tutkimuksissamme tulimme siihen lopputulokseen, että jos Joulupukki jakoi lahjat viime jouluaattona, hän on nyt kuollut.

Toinen vaihtoehto on se, että Joulupukki on huijausta.

Huijaus on tosin todella epätodennäköistä, sillä maailmasta löytyy niin paljon todistajia, jotka todistavat nähneensä Joulupukin säännöllisesti vähintään kerran vuodessa. Jatkamme tutkimuksia edelleen.

Mutta hauskaa joulua ja parempaa uutta vuotta kaikesta huolimatta!