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Tämä on ote novellistani Jim and Jones. Olisi kiva saada siitä palautetta. Kyseessä on hyväntahtoinen tarina kahdesta kaverista, Jimistä ja Jonesista. Otos on novellin lopusta. Kielioppivirheet ovat täysin mahdottomia.


It was a bright and beautiful summerday, not a cloud in sight and the temperature of the pond was just perfect. Some bunnies were hopping around on the beach, looking happy. Even the fish looked happy. I took a long, refreshing dive and got up to splash around. It was time to go back home and eat some of that delicious pie I made myself this morning. As I emerged from the water to towel myself off, I was overwhelmed by a feeling of pure glee. That is until I found myself staring down the barrel of a shotgun, whom on the other end was Randy Johnson, the father of the three children I had just murdered.
”Oh shit, Randy! Why don't you point that thing elsewhere, you're gonna take someone's eye out for chrissake”, I shout out. Randy doesn't look amused.
”I'm gonna blow someone's motherfucking brains out pretty soon”, he replies.
I giggle nervously. ”Hehe, that's some funny shit, man. Now put the gun down, okay?”
”There is nothing funny in an abrupt death of an innocent baby!” Wow, he's pissed.
”Well, unless the kid tells a really awesome joke right before it dies”, I say.
Randy looks at me, too angry for words to come out of his mouth. He's blushing, and there's sweat and tears all over his black face. Pretty funny sight, when you think about it. I don't think I've ever seen him so worked up.
”Jim, before you die, I want you to look me in the eye and tell me why. Why did you kill them? Why did you kill...”, he's unable to complete the sentence.
”Mary, Molly, and that little nigga, what's his name...”, I try to help.
”Randy! Randy Junior!”, he cries out. Literally. He breaks into tears. Geez, man up, nigger!
”Oh, right, Randy, right. Randy Junior.”
”Why? Why, you sick fuck!?”
”Well, you know what, Randy...”, I say slowly, while taking a packet of cigarettes from my backpocket. ”A bird in hand”, I start, and put a Camel in my mouth, ”is better than two in the bush.” I light it up. Mmhh, that's good. ”But getting your dick sucked by a super hot Japanese chick while Michael Jordan gives you a hi-five is probably the top of the mountain.”
Randy Johnson is very upset.
”Oh, come on, maaaannn...”, I tease. ”It only takes you nine months to come up with a new motherfucker just like the old ones! You won't even know the difference. It's not that big a deal, you know.”
I inhale the deadly fumes of my cigarette. Randy slowly places his index finger on the trigger of the shotgun.
”Jim Darling, you are the most insane redneck piece of shit I have ever met in my goddamn life. You will burn in hell.”
”Well”, I say, ”at least I'm not a fucking nigg–”
Johnson pulls the trigger.
My last thought is the horrible realization that when I die I'll probably lose grip of my towel, and Randy Johnson gets to see my dick. Fuck!